Recently I have had many people
ask me to share
how I lost over 40 pounds
and
just as importantly
kept it off.
There was no easy fix.
But I did figure out how to
make sustainable
life changes
that added up to the successful
weight loss I was after.
I think of them as my
building blocks .
The changes I made
came out of one of the lowest points
of my life.
Sometimes if we are able to harness our pain
it can become the impetus for the change we seek.
I only share that
because if I wasn't in a deep dark pain
I probably wouldn't have put
in the tremendous effort I needed to really change.
I remember wondering at the end of 2020
when I started
if there would come a time
I would be
grateful for the pain
as an impetus for change.
I am.
But it was a long and uncomfortable road.
As true life changes
usually are.
There had been so much loss and sadness since November 7th, 2017
weight gan over the three following years
was literally the least of my problems.
Even coming across this shocking to me picture
from May of 2020
didn't kick in any change.
I was in a continual state of what felt to me
of surviving and coping.
And I thought chardonnay was my best friend.
I drank to forget I was more overweight than I felt acceptable.
I drank hard a couple of those years to drown out a broken heart form a marital infidelity.
During that time my mother's health was failing.
During an eight month span
she had a broken back, broken hip, pneumonia, another broken hip
and
more respiratory problems
until her little body just gave out.
I drank because of my Mom dying.
I drank because of my oldest son
once more decided to estrange from the family.
I drank because on January 22 of 2020
my husband was let go from his executive job
of 25 years
out of the blue.
I drank because I was so scared
while my dad was in the ICU for months during COVID
after complications from what was supposed to be a simple surgery.
I drank more when he died.
I drank because my youngest moved with his family to Texas.
But mainly I drank
because I felt like a life failure.
I continued to drink (a lot) until
Christmas Eve 2020
I woke up in the middle of the night
literally realizing
there wasn't enough alcohol in the world
to ease my pain.
I remember feeling if I didn't wake up in the morning
I would be OK with that.
Everything
just felt like too much.
And
if I did wake up
I would have to make some drastic changes
in my life.
This way was way too painful.
It took me a couple of days to come up with a plan.
First off was to do a painful breakup
with
Chardonnay
Maybe it wouldn't be forever
(it wasn't0
but I knew it would have to be at least
30 Days Alcohol Free
I wrote about my story
HERE
My friend Adrienne Shubin
had shared her no Alcohol story
and
had mentioned the book
I bought all the Quit Lit she recommended.
is Adrienne's blog link
The next 30 days
were awful
and
I hard
so many pity parties
feeling like I was giving up the only source of joy
I allowed myself.
I never really thought I would be successful with
changing my relationship with wine.
But I did.
And that was
life changing.
I realized what a daily habit
having wine had become.
I drank as a reward for accomplishment
at the end of the day.
I drank if I was sad.
I drank if I was happy.
I realized how stunted my
coping strategies
had become.
And just how habitual.
I realized how
limiting my own
Self Belief
had become.
Slowly I began to make other changes
as I could step back
and
observe bad habits
and
self defeating coping strategies.
2020 vs 2021
Again I followed Adrienne's advice.
She had shared how
Intermittent Fasting
had also helped her in losing 90 pounds.
I was in.
But carefully.
Because I had suffered from an eating disorder
for too many years to count.
Bulimia had been a part of my life
a big, big part
at one point
before I had children.
Intermittentant Fasting
works for me, surprisingly.
It lets me feel more in control of what I eat
and
when.
The added benefit being that I sleep so much better too!
I started out slowly
and
then began getting down to
a six to eight hour window of eating.
I'm not recommending this to everyone
but with my past and history
it works for me.
The other part of my success with
Intermittent Fasting
is being
Calorie Deficit
which is simply eating less calories
thank my body needs
in order to loose weight.
That really is the bottom line of the weight loss
There are just a lot of
supportive components
to make this doable
and
more importantly
consistent.
The next building block was to up my physical activity.
I have always worked out.
Just as much for mental health
as
physical health.
I increased my hike from 2-3 miles a day
to 5-6 miles last summer.
I average about 3 miles a day
5 days a week now.
We are very fortunate to live in an area
with spectacular hiking opportunities.
Jeff and I have made them part of our
healthy lifestyle.
They are a gift I am always
Grateful
for.
Hiking in Nature
is what I do for my
Mind, Body and Soul.
I also weight train 3 days a week
with yoga and Pilates rounding out my work outs.
I think there are so many different ways to lose weight.
But I think
one of the most important building blocks
is replacing
self sabotaging habits
with
healthier, successful habits.
Simply said
new ways
to find joy!
One thing that has really helped me
My Gratitude List.
I write it down
every morning
right next to my to Do List.
It really helps me focus on all of the good
in my life.
It also helps me stay positive
with my progress
which sometimes felt incredibly slow.
But trust me
a lot of little changes
carried out consistently
really do make a difference.
I believe I was able to make changes
because I was at a point
not to change
was just too painful.
And now I know
it really isn't about
the weight
or
drinking or not drinking.
It's about developing
a good relationship
with my self.
It is really about learning to trust myself.
To have compassion for myself.
To realize
I might not have always gotten it right
but I know I was always
trying my best.
I just needed learn more successful
coping strategies
when it got down to it.
i needed to get to a place
where I allowed myself to succeed.
To find new ways of coping
that don't
Self Sabotage
the things I am working on
and
hold important.
Better
healthier
ways for me
to find joy.
And little by little
learn to see myself
more lovingly.
One thing the last four years
have taught me is
life is hard enough
without being at
war with myself.
And when we know better
we do better.
True personal change
is a process.
And it can come out of pain.
There really is no perfect time
to decide to change your life for the better.
I started my process with one step
and
continued to add the others
as I got solid with each building block.
~ Changing my relationship to Alcohol
~ Intermittent Fasting
~ Consistent Calorie Deficient
~ Consistent and Sustainable Work Outs
and
most importantly to me
I added
new to me
~ Successful Coping Strategies
to my self discipling
so that I could sustain
the process of change!
A process that needs
all the
Self Compassion
you can find.
As always my friends
I wish you love and joy
as you style your life
