The Importance of Self Love



I am writing this today on 
Valentine's Day
The Day to Celebrate Love.

This year I come to this day
with a different perspective.

If you have been reading my blog recently
you know already that 
I have been living through the ramifications of
Marriage Betrayal.
So Valentine's Day feels different to me today.




Not in a bitter
want nothing to do with the day kind of feeling.

Rather with a deeper understanding of the need of
Self Love
first in a relationship.


In the last three months
I have done so much 
Soul Searching
asking myself in so many different ways
How did I ever end up 
after 30 years of marriage
betrayed.
What had happened to the true love that we 
had both been so strongly invested in
within  our relationship.

And as I have said in my very first post about 
the betrayal
I am in no way saying I had in responsibility in the cheating
but 
I am smart enough to know
that I need to take responsibility
in searching for answers
as to how we ever sowed the  path to betryal.




It has been a path so dark since the discovery
I often wondered if I would ever get through.
And
to be completely honest 
there are still days full of  such darkness
but thankfully they move on much more quickly.

And there is something quite profound with the passing of the darkness.
There is often a pristine  light of clarity
that is revealed in it's aftermath.




One of the true realizations I have had
is the utmost importance of 
Self Love.

Without Self Love first in a relationship
I realized
I was always looking to my husband for 
validation on some level.

(and getting so hardened and bitter
when I didn't immediately get the response I was looking for)

When  I should have been looking in 
my own 
Heart and Soul
for validation and worth.
I need to take charge of my own opinion of myself.




Because when we look outside of ourselves
for worth and validation
we give away our own 
power and worth.

And put a huge burden on another.




I have realized through this very brutal process
that for me to be truly bring my best version of myself
to my marriage
I need to first
practice 
Self Love
and
 Self Care.

I have to find my own inner balance.

I must first come from a place of
Love and Grace 
for myself
so that I can love others fully.




I have often written here on my blog about 
Self Care
(you can enter Self Care in the search button on the left side
to bring up the various posts)

To me 
Self Love and Self Care
go hand in hand.

One can't fully exist without the other.




I am highly invested in both these days
as I know
my husband and I have to bring our best selves
back to our marriage 
if we are going to make it through this devastation
onto a deeper, more loving 
version of our marriage.

Everyday we are making our marriage a priority
doing everything we can
to not only repair the damage done
but to build the strongest, most stable foundation
of love and trust going forward.


Self love
is such a crucial 
building block in this process.




So this Valentine's Day
I hope we all realize how very important
Self Love
is in deep and loving relationships.
And the importance in investing in true
Self Care.

Sending out much
Valentine Love 
to each of you
no matter the day!



As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life
and 
Crown Yourself











Picking Up The Pieces ... After A Marriage Betrayal


Today I am three months  into dealing with the aftermath of a
Marriage Betrayal
And what a ride it's been.
It's affected my physical and mental health so much
both kinds of doctor visits make up my weeks now.
I know it will take a village and so much time
to put myself back together.

But hopefully,  just hopefully
I am getting more clarity and more healing about our situation.

Enough clarity and healing
that I can spend more time focusing on the 
silver linings and lessons
and 
less time overcome with the heart wrenching pain of 
Betrayal.



The best 
Silver Lining 
has been my husband and I realizing that
we still passionately love each other.
We had literally been asleep at the wheel of our marriage
for almost a decade.

The kind of asleep
where a relationship is just  taken for granted.
and
falls not only down the list of life priorities
but 
almost all the way off.

Through weeks and weeks of real, honest and gut wrenching conversations
and 
marriage counseling
we have been able to begin to  see how we got 'there'.
Where we began to check out emotionally
rather than brave uncomfortable and honest conversations that needed to happen.

The fact that 
we can now talk honestly about 
anything and everything
is another silver lining.
The fact that my husband now values
talking about feelings and emotions
has been such a win out of this situation.

He and I have reprioritized our relationship to the top of our life list.



I finally feel a strong desire to move from the 
Surviving Betrayal Mode
to the 
Thriving After Betrayal Mode.

I am committed to finding all the
Silver Linings
and 
Lessons To Be Learned
from this situation.

Lessons about he and I together
and 
Lessons about each of us personally.
Digging deeper into who I really want to be
and
what I really want my life to look like.


I know the journey  to real healing
will still be a very long one
but with
 strong intent and vision
of where we want to go
 can be a strong and insightful
traveling partner on the road ahead.


I am highly invested in 
Self Care
even more so
these days.


From starting my mornings once again with
Coffee, Candles and Gratitude
before sunrise
to 
Daily Pilates and nature hikes.
Working on my wardrobe
calms me
and 
gives me something concrete
that I know I can control and totally effect.

And most importantly is giving myself a ton of 
Grace and Kindness
like never before.


I still can't accomplish things the way I used too
but for the first time since I 'found out'
I can begin to feel 
myself
ever so 
 slowly come back.

And  
hopefully it will be
a stronger
deeper
more insightful and loving
version of myself.



My darling daughter asked me last week
if I would rather have lived with the same marriage her Dad and I  had
for another 20 years
or
have gone through what we have
and 
come out the other side 
with the passionate and committed marriage we have now.


I can say now
almost 3 months into 
Picking Up The Pieces After A Marriage Betrayal
I can  say I would choose the change.
But a month or two ago I didn't even know if I could survive the heartbreak.
So time,  love and the commitment from my husband
and
 sincere love and  intent on both our ends
has me hopeful on the healing
and 
thriving front.


That being said
the real truth
 is also that some days
and
even moments
are so excruciatingly hard
I wouldn't wish a situation like this on my worst enemy.
Triggers that come out of no where
and
can have me feeling faint
and
 fighting panic attacks.
In an instant
I can go back to the mind numbing pain
of  this betrayal.


But as so many times in life
the situation now
is what it is.

So  for me
my life choice must be
to fight hard to make the best of our situation
and
pick up the pieces with love and grace.



Working daily to become the very best version of myself.
To drown myself in life's beauty.
To focus madly on the good and dear in life.
To push the good moments deep into my heart
never to be forgotten.

All the while accepting the pain when it arises.

I can acknowledge the pain
feel it
but
 I can alos teach myself not to live in it.




One of my favorite Fierce 50 Sisters and blogger
Anita By Design
left a comment on my Instagram
 that truly touched my heart.
Especially because Anita is walking through
an unbelievably hard life walk right now
with her dear husband's cancer.
She has handled her current life situation
with the utmost grace, courage and love
and
I am continuelly inspired by her.
If you want to be learn more about the beautiful inside and out
you can go here to Anita By Design.



Her comment was

"Yes my sister. 
There are lessons in the trials.
 If we will humble ourselves and pay attention,
God has beautiful treasures 
along the road to recovery.

 What some may perceive as 
tragedy
could very well be the event that
saves a marriage."

I am writing here today
not just about 
Marriage Betrayal
but the bigger issue that
life at one time or another
is hard on us all
so it is so important 
to learn to
dig deep
with courage and grace
as we move through life's trials.




One of my favorite quotes  and advice right now
that really strikes a cord with me
is by Nora Ephron

"Above all
be the Heroine of your life
not the victim.


Surrounding yourself with
strong, big hearted women
is pretty darn good advice too.




As always my friends

Wishing you love and joy
As you style your life








Linking with
Fashion Should Be Fun





What I Wore 2017


It's that time of year again!
Time to take a look back at what I wore in 2017.

I have pulled together some of my favorite looks.
I am often inspired looking back at my outfits
remembering looks I forgotten.

This short dress was a new departure for me this year.
I paired it with some strappy heels
bold accessories
and
finished with a luscious half slip that peeked out purposely just a bit.



This is still one of my favorite outfits.
It's made up easily with an all white base
including these white cropped jeans
that I loved so much that I got three pair 
and
 wore them all spring and summer!

This fabulous wrap vest
adds a delightful dramatic exclamation to the basic pieces.


A travel outfit made up entirely of a white base, neutral accessories
finished with a dress used as a tunic.
I always try to travel with a color base to get the most wardrobe variation
with the fewest number of pieces.


This was a fun utilitarian outfit
perfectly polished  and cheery for running errands in comfort.


I did a whole collection of shell crowns last summer
and
I have more designs coming  for 2018 as well.


This is the outfit I wore to the fabulous Fierce 50 launch!
I wrote about the event here.


Mixed my leather fringe with shells
for a very successful monochrome outfit.
I think I might be bringing this outfit with me when I go to Austin in March!




One of my favorite dressing challenges I gave myself last year.
I did this whole outfit around this wonderful vintage sombrero!
I adore how it all came out!

I continued this year with my love of neutrals and creams.
And how fab are these leather boots!
I had completely forgotten I had them!
Time to pull out these beauties again this winter!
Do you ever forget about great pieces in your own closets?


My favorite outfit for flea market shopping!
The wicker cart and comfortable walking flats
my favorite two accessories for some serious shopping!


I had so much fun wearing this romper to the beach!
It  was something new for me
and 
the perfect piece for a sunset beach walk.




this was this years Birthday Crown.


The Crown was the perfect finishing piece for my extra wide legged 
palazzo pants!


The same ball skirt as seen before
just paired with a wrap top
and 
different accessories.


Took my beautiful bike out for a beach picnic
wearing my favorite cropped pants with a gingham dress
used as a tunic.


Some more easy to wear gingham.


Fabulous wrap vest
pushed nautical
with a stripped shirt and shoe
made for a great outfit for
sunset cocktails on a harbor cruise.


Another travel outfit
using a white base
with the addition of a leopard kimono.
I almost always throw in a couple of kimonos when traveling.
They work for so many situations.
They are definitely on my list for dressing travel tips.


These two knit pieces made for a cozy and comfortable 
date night.
The turban, chandelier earrings and clutch
gave it some glam polish.


Another fun running errands look.



This is what I wore on our anniversary in September.
Looking at this photo 
still makes my heart drop.


Some print on print action
for a trip to the desert.



One of my favorite photoshoots ever
was in Palm Springs this year.


Dressing for Palm Springs is always a favorite of mine!



I love how this outfit came together organiclly.
The perfect color pairing came together
when I saw them next to each other on my clothes rack.
The turquoise clutch that I found at a vintage shop in Palm Springs 
was a perfect finish.

I hope you have enjoyed this outfit retrospect.
Hopefully it has inspired you with some fun dressing ideas.
I know it has gotten me 
revved up for some more styling fun.



As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life

















New Year's Eve at the Ace Hotel



Jeff and I rung in the New Year at
For those of you that have read my last post HERE
you know that he and I are  hugely invested in
making our marriage a priority now.
So we wanted to start the New Year off in style and fun!



is always one of our favorites in LA.

Ace Hotel Downtown Los Angeles opened early 2014 in the historic United Artists building in Downtown LA. An ornate, storied and vibrant Los Angeles gem, Downtown is undergoing a renaissance. Built in 1927 for the maverick film studio, the UA theater and tower stand as monuments to a group of seminal American artists pushing out on their own.



We were able to get the sweetest corner room
which meant we had large view windows on two sides!
It was quite small but
so efficiently designed!
It suited our needs for the evening perfectly
as we were staying there to be able to 
just walk downstairs to their opulent theater 
to ring in the New Year.


My very favorite part of the room was that in came with an adorable balcony
which made the small room so much more entertaining.


The balcony also made for great photo opts!


And on a side note
how fabulous is this dress from Free People
that I wore for the drive up to the hotel.

I got it last week on sale.
I loved it so much I went back and got it in two other colors!

I paired it with a flutter sleeve T
also from Free People.

My silver shoes
are a purchase a couple of months ago
for the Who What Wear line at Target.
It was the first time I wore them
and now they are one of my favorite shoes.
For me they are a fun neutral 
and the best part
they are actually comfortable!


A little shout out and big thank you 
to my very handsome photographer!


After we got settled into our hotel room
it was up to the rooftop for a light lunch and cocktails at


Inspired by Hollywood's famous Les Deux Cafe, Upstairs is the sky-high urban oasis at Ace Hotel Downtown Los Angeles. With a concrete pool and city lights stretched out in all directions, Upstairs' bunker-like rooftop bar hosts a smattering of events every night of the week — DJs, live bands, book release parties, pop-up shops and creative collaborations — with bright, world-traveled twists on California desert fare and traditional cocktails with a menu lovingly curated by the Upstairs beverage wizards.




Upstairs is one of our favorites
because of the panoramic views of LA.
It's also a great spot for people watching as well.
By New Year's evening the place was completely solid with a very long wait to get in.

But if you stay at the hotel
you can just take the elevator reserved for hotel guests
up without a wait.

We did stop by again at night before the theater
and
 it was crazy busy
as in you wouldn't be getting a drink for close to an hour
and
 that's if you were just in line at the bar.
So not my scene at all!


The   evening for me was all about bringing the New Year's Eve Glam!
So I splurged and hired a makeup artist from

You can actually download their app
and 
book your appointment
for either hair or makeup or both.

I hate doing my own makeup for events
so it felt like quite the luxury 
to just sit back and have it done.

When I do have my makeup done
I always have them use my own products
so there is not unpleasant surprises with color or foundations.



I packed all of my favorite bling for the evening!


Jeff brought his A game as well.



If there is ever a call for a Crown
it's always New Year's Eve!


Sparkly shoes a must as well!


I absolutely loved my outfit
but I didn't get as many  good outfit pictures 
as I wanted because of the fading light.

I was going for a Grand Dame look.
Under my fabulous velvet robe
I wore extra wide palazzo  pants paired with a silk charmuse shirt.
I wanted my clothes understated
so that all the attention would be on my sparkling accessories and fur cuffs.




We were staying at the Ace Hotel
to got to 


We're sitting right on top of one of the most remarkable gems in the city — a delicately restored, 1,600-seat movie palace from the 1920s with a three-story, 2,300 square foot grand lobby, an ornate open balcony and mezzanine and a vaulted ceiling with thousands of tiny mirrors that glimmer when lit. The Theatre at Ace Hotel is the literal foundation of Ace Hotel Downtown Los Angeles.



On tap for New Year's Eve was
 Dita Von Teesse's Nuevo Burlesque show.
Dita is a self titled
Glamour Evangelist
and 
her costumes for the evening did not disappoint.
But just as amazing
was the audience she drew for the evening.
I have never seen as much extreme glamour
under one roof!



The theater production and evening  spent at
was certainly a wonderful and glamorous 
way to ring in the 
New Year!




 As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life





linking with
The Style Crone