So Sad … So Glad



The house is quiet.
The bandage has been pulled.
The waves of sorrow flow in as expected.
She has moved out of our family home
most likely for the final time.


I have had this feeling of loss before with her.

Years ago for the first time
dropping her off for kindergarten
was a precursor 
for the grief I felt at  her college drop off.

Each time I know the crashing heart pain is cresting as I wait for the event
realizing it is with true courage we love our children fiercely.


I will sit quietly
and
 remember when she was mine
for a bit
as a helpless infant
but all the time
I have been preparing her for this day too.

To set out in life
with her one true love
to prepare to begin a life of their own.


The irony to truly love a child fiercely
with always their greatest good a priority
we too prepare 
for the separation
that comes from healthy parenting.

This time I am better prepared 
for the void
I have learned well the last four years.

Learned to not only care for her needs
but mine as well.


Recognizing  now
so many emotions swirling inside
need to be gracefully sorted through.

Realizing 
some of the pain is in the  opening up 
of past latent sorrows
swirling around in a strange concoction
that is a confusing blur of pain now and then.

I let the pain come in
I acknowledge it's presence
as well as quietly recognizing the ghostly shadows 
of pain past.

I mark today in my heart
as yet another of life's transitioning moments.

I put deep down into my heart
the beauty to be found in the bittersweet moments in life.
I am happy how I handled the departure with 
courage and grace.

That I no longer mask my pain 
in anger towards others.
But rather muster up all the love I have to give.

Happy that I take pause and acknowledged
sometimes
even great transitions 
come with pain and fear.

Acceptance of the heartache
fear of the new
letting go of the known.


By taking time to fully acknowledge the moment
I can now move forward to

Glad.

Glad she and I made it through the summer
in the best possible way
since neither of us chose to have her move back
we rather accepted the situation as necessary.

I can know that my sad will this time flow through
making way for glad.

Glad I knowI  can show up all in
even knowing the pain to be.

For I have learned not only self care over the last four years
I have learned 
my heart is mighty and strong
it might crack now and again
but with each crack
it heals even stronger and larger than before.

Ellis I send you off with 
so much love
affection
and 
courage.

I will always love you to the moon and back!
You will always be a part of me.

All the very, very best to you in your newest chapter.
You and I 
have worked hard for this day.


As always my friends


I wish you love and joy 
as you style your life











New Beginnings


I have recently added a new piece to my wardrobe
that I can foresee will be with me for years and years.
It is a crepe silk kimono from the thirties.


It is a piece
that I have been searching years for …


One with a cream base
stunning artistry
and 
one in my size!

When I spotted this in a vintage market 
in Old Town Orange
I was absolutely smitten
especially when my husband
bought it for me as 
an anniversary present!

Increasing my love for the kimono
even more
as it will always be a reminder of our time together.


I decided to style it casually
for it's first time out.

I paired it with wide legged linen pants
a Rachel Zoe ribbon weave sweater
Tamera Beardsley Design accessories
and
finished it off with a turban.


I was ever so happy with the outcome
a perfectly easy look
finished off 
with an art as clothing kimono!

I wanted an easy look this weekend
because there was much 
exciting energy here this weekend
as 
Jeff and I knew something big was going to be happening!


This happened Saturday afternoon!
My daughter is officially engaged to her own
Prince Charming!

Elliot was able to completely surprise my girl 
with the sweetest proposal ever!
After asking for her hand 
in the best was possible the day before
he had arranged  for the two of them
to go to the park
to help out a friend who needed some models
for her couples photography portfolio.

After taking pictures for quite a while
they were instructed to walk up a hill for more pictures.
There a perfect picnic was set
and 
the big question was asked!

This momma's  heart is so happy
that her girl
has found her one true love.
And
 a phenomenal man he is!


So our family will be expanding
in a most beautiful way!
Elliot welcome to the family!
We couldn't be prouder for you to join us!

Now
let the planning begin!


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life





linking up with





Celebrating 27 Years Together


This Friday marked our 27th wedding anniversary
and
 exactly 28 years together
as Jeff and I got married 
on the one year anniversary of the day we met …
almost down to the very hour.

We have had great times together
and
hard ones.

But we have  managed to weather the storms
and 
now as our kids are grown
we are moving into new times
where once again
we have time to really focus on  each other …

Time to realize just how very far we have come
in our 28 years together.



I was so excited to get this text from Jeff  Friday morning!

He had arranged staying in our 
pre kids neighborhood
The Arts District of South Coast Plaza.
at the Arts Hotel
right next door to where we lived
as a newly married couple for seven years!


The Arts Hotel
is a small Wydym hotel
that has been rebranded to reflect the glamorous
South Coast Plaza Arts District 
as it has become today.
Both the hotel and I
have become more glamorous
since our beginnings here on the Avenue of the Arts
27 years ago!


Jeff even packed a basket of drinks and flowers 
to start the night off in style!


I was so touched by the flowers
as they were reminiscent of my wedding flowers
so long ago!


Jeff had even arrived earlier in the day
to make sure our room had a view of the lakes
we had walked around  for years.
The first five just us
the last two with Ellis.


The hotel's  recent renovation
included  outside 'retreats' integrated into the property.
These over sized lamps
are actually a genius interpretation of outside heaters!


Jeff's anniversary plans called for a wonderful walking itinerary
my very favorite kind
making even South Orange County
feel a little cosmopolitan!


But a special walking itinerary calls for 
a special date night solve!
 As much as I wish I was one of those women
who can walk for miles in heels
alas I am not …


So I simply opted out of an evening clutch
for my straw shopper
and
 was able to bring along a flat walking sandal inside
to change in and out of for our dinner destination!

The shopper worked perfectly
 actually
as our dinner destination was next to some 
world class shopping to be sure!


Strolling through the Arts District of South Coast Plaza
brought back so many  great memories
like living here
 while so many of these stunning building were being built.


We even were able to stroll though the apartment complex 
where we lived  for years …


Good times to be sure  with so much literally right next door ...


The Performing Arts Center.


The Segerstrom Hall


South Coast Repertory where even after we moved  out to the suburbs
to raise our children
Ellis grew up in this theater program.
We ended up planning family events for years and years
around the theater schedules.


The bridge that links the Performing Art world
with world class shopping
at South Coast Plaza.

Our anniversary stay
back in the area that we lived before kids …
was just the most perfect reminder
of how very much I love my husband
and 
how we have so many 
great times ahead
now that we have raised our three.

I think 27 might be
my new favorite number.


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life



linking with
The Style Crone



Green Glowing Smoothie


I have been drinking 
Green Glowing Smoothies
since I returned from my 
Blogher 14 trip
when I realized as much as I appreciated 
all that I have accomplished recently
it became clear to me that I needed to 
put more energy into my own health
as menopausal symptoms were on the definite rise!


Feeling very pumped up after the conference
and
 a beautiful visit with an old friend
I  left my usual comfort zone
while at the airport
 and
 struck up a conversation
with a strikingly beautiful women
who was also waiting to board the homeward bound plane
to Orange County.

Lori is the kind of woman
that used to intimidate me
one with an absolutely perfect petite figure
perfectly done hair and makeup.
But this time at the airport I was much more interested 
in positive physical changes
than  giving into any feelings of intimidation
(the crazy part of the intimidation story
Lori said she was intimidated by me as well before we started talking)
so while we were flying home I asked her
if she could share any tips 
to how she had such a marvelous figure
at 50 years old!


Since our plane ride home
Lori and I have ended up being fast friends
and 
I still refer lovingly to her 
as my nutritional angel
as she is so loving and generous with her 
beauty and aging advice!

Lori knows all about beauty
as she is an expert makeup artist
whose clients are Bravo's
very own Andy Cohen
as well as our local 
Orange County Housewives.
You can check out her site HERE.


Lori's biggest beauty and health tip was the
 glowing green smoothie
which is found in 
Kimberly Snyder's 
The Beauty Detox Solution book.

I have been starting my day with
the recommended 
water with 1/2 of lemon and a probiotic
followed by a green smoothie
for over six weeks now.

 I must say 
I do feel much better
and
 have shed the nasty extra menopause pounds that had crept up.

I have waited the six weeks 
to mention the green smoothie on my blog
because with my history of eating disorders
I have to be very careful
to keep my eating balanced
and
 not fanatical.

But now starting my day this way
has become a healthy habit 
that I can share.



This is the basic recipe but I change it up
depending on what I have in the fridge.
Some days I omit the fruit and add in extra greens.

I started out using my basic blender …
but after a month
I moved onto a Vitamix 
once I knew I would really use it daily.

I keep my organic produce jarred in the fridge
as I just love pulling the produce out 
when it's beautifully prepped in the fridge.

The green smoothie recipe makes two generous servings
so I drink one in the morning
and 
save the second in a wide mouth lidded mason jar
to have as an afternoon pick me up.
I was really surprised
how filling they are 
and
 how good I feel afterwards!

It certainly takes more time to make the smoothies
than just grabbing something quick in the morning
but by my age
I have realized 
extra time dedicated to heath and beauty
are definitely 
 well appreciated and necessary  steps in
Self Care.


As always my friends


I wish you love and joy 
as you style your life




linking up with

Savvy Southern Style



Style Feature


I an so excited to be featured on 


 for Imogen's 

Stylish Thoughts!

Go check out her blog
Imogen is an image consultant
whose mission is to
"help people look great without stress and confusion".

Imogen thank you so much for the featured interview!








Always Ready For A Walk On The Beach




It was a quiet weekend for me here this weekend.
My kids were both out of town
and
 my husband has been working 
the USGA Senior Amateur Tournament 
at his golf course.


Saturday I was lucky enough
to do another of
the French Basketeers
cooking classes!


This month Andrea showed us how to make
homemade pasta from scratch.



Which resulted in this beautiful meal!


Andrea lives in Laguna Beach
so when driving home
and
the beach began it's siren song for me ...


I was ready for an impromptu 
beach walk ...


on one of my favorite beaches …


because I always travel with everything I need 
for walks on the beach
and 
so much more.


Now that my car serves mainly just me …
I keep it stocked with 
my own needs.

Baskets in the back
that came from my big Suburban
that my children grew up in
and
 eventually all learned to drive in …
are now replaced 
with things I keep at the ready
for my spontaneous fun and necessities!


I shopped all over to find a perfect
beach walk backpack.

I wanted a canvas with leather hardware
in a neutral color
that could carry my beach necessities down
and
 strong enough to bring back
all the found treasures from my beach walks.

I keep a pair of  necessary flip-flops packed inside.


With a packable canvas hat 
and sunblock 
means I am always prepared for the sun.


I had a beautiful Pendleton blanket already
that was always looking for a perfect purpose.

My hiking stick always travels with me
so hiking needs are at the ready as well.


I have recently added a new
 French Basketeer 
addition ...


which I keep filled with my reusable bags
I brought back from Italy.


Alos inside 
my favorite new discovery 
cotton produce bags!


I had been looking for a solve
for bringing home farmer's market produce
that didn't involve plastic bags
and
 I found it 
with these great bags that come in two sizes
and
they can be tossed in the washer when need be!


I also have my original feed bags
tucked in baskets
if I need a more substantial carrier
as these unzip and become the most fabulous totes!


I keep miscellaneous needs
like wipes, waters and even 
a facial wash for apres surfing or heavy duty hikes
all packed tidily in the lidded baskets


I so enjoy driving my car
when it's packed with everything I might need
in my day.

Whether I need to be set for grocery shopping at the market
or
have the blissful opportunity
for a walk on the beach
I'm ready!


Having a car packed
for what ever might come along
is something I learned
while raising my children …

Now my car is packed for new and different adventures
for my
'next chapter'.


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life