My 5 Steps For Staying Emotionally Healthy… While Using Social Media


I have been using social media for over four years now
when I started with my blog
followed by Facebook
Instagram
and 
recently I am giving twitter a try.

I have been so appreciative of
the many gifts involved
in the communities I have become a part of
and
especially the wonderful people 
I have met all around the world.

All because of social media.


But I have also realized
that as with many things in life
social media
can become a double edged sword
unless I take good self care
and 
follow my own rules of using
social media
that
I know work for me
in order to stay emotionally  healthy
and
only reap the positives to be had
with using social media.


My number one rule for using 
social media

Never Compare.

This is a big one I learned from using 
social media
and 
luckily has transferred into my offline life as well.

I must admit
there was a time I saw others
and 
compared not only 
myself
but
my life as well.

Then one day
in the midst of a time of being 
broken wide open

I learned to 
appreciate my own story.
Where it was that I came from
and 
how I had been shaped 
by what life had given me.

As soon as I could graciously accept 
my own story
with love and dignity
comparison was no more

only left in the wake
was
empathy
 for others
in the realization that
we are all doing the very best we can
with what we have at the time.

By truly accepting and respecting
myself
and
my own story
with love and grace
 comparison stopped for me

which 
gave me so much more time for joy
and
the ability to  truly revel
in the success of others.


My second rule I  have learned
Don't over identify with  the stats
of social media.

We are not our stats
whether the following be small
or
immense.
Never, ever look to a number
to help to define your self worth.
Concentrate on doing good work
and
being you.


Be sure not to self  identify if followers are few
and 
especially not to self identify 
if followers are many.
They are not markers of self worth
and
it's so easy to lose authenticity
in the chase of more.

For me I like to keep my blog
and
media real.
I share what's beautiful in my  life everyday
and 
I share the challenging parts too.
Because sometimes that's where 
the most meaningful connections are made.
I think we all can come together more easily
in the realizations 
that life is hard on us all at one time or another
and 
it is so comforting to know
we are not alone when it does.


The times that I loose sight of 
this aspect of my particular blog
and 
start doing things simply to boost
my stats
I lose the joy of  authentic sharing
and 
true connections.

Nothing has ever thrown me off my personal track
more than attending blogging conferences
with the intent of growing a following.

For me
I am much happier
sharing the beauty in my everyday
and 
sharing what I have learned
about self care
and
Crowning Yourself.


Don't Take Anything Personally


This is something I have learned with age.
Luckily for me
mean comments have been few and far between
but when I do get them
I let them roll off my back immediately
because I know any anger posted 
really has nothing to do with me.

I know this because years ago
when I was a bonafide
practicing perfectionist
I was wound so tight
and
so unhappy because of it
I flashed anger
at the least provocation 
and
it never really had anything to to with
anybody else
but 
me.


Be Kind.


There can definitely be negativity in social media.

I prefer to ignore this fact
and 
concentrate on
 the good that can be done.

Differing platforms of social media 
offer 
such perfectly easy ways
to share some love and kindness.

My particular favorite is 
Instagram.

But Meaningful comments 
are  such gifts
on any platform.

I know I have been on the receiving end
of 
words left on my blog
that are true gifts to my soul
and
have been life preservers
when my seas of life were
tumultuous.
Never, ever underestimate 
the power of 
heartfelt words.

Anytime I ever become
over interested in my own stats
I know the quickest cure 
is always to go out into the blog sphere
and
instagram
and 
leave some love.


Be Authentic

For me it's all about authenticity.
Both 
what I put out
and 
what I read and respond to.
Maybe that's just me
and 
my history with perfectionism
and
the realization
perfection in life
is a myth.

I personally connect and respond
with 
real
authentic
people and stories.


So that wraps up my 
personal strategy for

Staying Emotionally Healthy 
While Using Social Media.

I'd love to hear any tips
you have to share
on how you keep
the use of
Social Media
 Healthy and Positive.



As always my friends


I  wish you love and joy
as you style your life


PS ~ Congratulations Deb Jackson!
You are the winner of the 
Crown Yourself and Crown a Friend 
Giveaway!






Old Town San Juan … and the Ramos Cafe



Sunday was a drizzly day here 
in Socal
so it was the perfect opportunity
to wear one of my favorite outfits to
Old Town San Juan Capistrano
for lunch at the iconic Ramos Cafe.


I love everything about this outfit
down to my cowboy boots 
that were a perfect fit for Old Town.

I have been collecting the pieces for this outfit for years
and
the ultra wide legged pants by Walter
are still one of my favorites.

I look for every opportunity when it's chilly
to wear my
Alpaca fedora
from my favorite hat store in Napa
The Montetcristi Panama Hat Shop
It's a favorite of mine
because I can get a hat in the right size
and
the right size is where
hat attitude can come in!

My Persol works as well for rain
as it does sun protection
and
 is always such a beautiful accessory to pull out!


We went for brunch at the iconic 
where every detail is styled to perfection!
Sitting right up against the train tracks in San Juan Capistrano
it is one of my top brunch picks for South Orange County
this time not only for the ambiance
but definitely for the food as well!



We were lucky enough to wait for our table on the porch
with drinks.
The Ramos House bloody Mary
is almost urban legend by now
and 
my pomegranate orange mimosa
was mixed perfectly!




Fresh citrus salad
with baratta and cinnamon.


Beef stew on
bleu cheese mash and root vegetables.



I was out still hoping for rain …
and
 by nightfall it finally poured
and
 was the perfect backdrop
for a cozy night in
watching the Oscars!


Two more days to enter to win the
 Crown Yourself bracelet giveaway!
 Enter to win HERE before Wednesday.
 Best of luck!!



As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life







Sunday Gratitude


A simple Sunday post
to share some weekend 
gratitude.

I think one of the easiest ways to
Crown Ourselves
is to 
take the time for intentional
gratitude.

Too often I follow my thoughts
of worry and anxiety
and
just plain melancholy
so I realize
I must put more energy into
focusing 
on the beauty
that is in my life
and 
be grateful.

I was most grateful for getting out this weekend 
with my wonderful husband.


He brought me the most 
exquisite
'Friday Flowers'
they always make my heart melt.


We went down to the beach Friday night to
a new to us destination
in Crystal Cove
that opened in October.


They serve some of the most 
beautiful hand crafted cocktails I have seen.


From inside
it was a wonderful view to watch the drapes 
wafting in the wind 
as the sun declined in the sky
with the fresh ocean air settling in.


I received a most beautiful Friday present
from my love,
This little pitcher 
will be making it into 
my morning ritual of coffee and candles
before sunrise.


As a lover of stylish places
I am always drawn to a restaurants ambiance
before the food
and
restrooms
are always a place 
to see just how well attention to detail
carries through ….
Babettes gets an A for sure!

I love the luxurious simplicity 
and 
interplay of texture and tone.


Saturday I was back at 
French Food Camp
which is what Andrea's cooking classes have 
morphed into.
So much more than a class
Andrea aptly describes the camp as
"a book club about food … minus the books".


I appreciate Andrea's food
but it is her attention to detail
generous spirit
and 
collector of fabulous women
that has me returning 
month after month.


I have realized at this time in my life
I am not so much into cooking
as it takes me out of my studio for too long …
but boy do I relish 
and 
appreciate people whose art form
and 
creative outlet it is!


One of my favorite parts of classes in Laguna is
sunset cocktails
with my husband afterwards.

One of our favorite places to do this is
in Laguna.

Not seen from the street
you really need to know where it is …
and 
once you do …
You will be so glad you found this little gem!


We had a perfect table up front
with enough time
to slow down
and
take in the wonder
and 
magic
that is always to be 
found
at the beach
for sunset.

I press these moments
deep into my heart
as a reminder
of the spectacular beauty
to be found
in
the simple moments
in life.


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life



Two more days to enter to win the
 Crown Yourself bracelet giveaway!
 Enter to win HERE before Wednesday.
 Best of luck!!




Introducing The Crown Yourself Bracelet … And A Giveaway!



If you have been following along
my blog
this year
you have read about my idea
of taking the time to 
Crown Ourselves
in an attempt 
to fully realize and celebrate 
our own uniqueness.

For me
although I personally
love wearing a literal crown
sometimes
I also believe there are a myriad of ways to
Crown Ourselves.

I see 
Crowning Ourselves
as akin to
 self care
the kind that
believes in taking the time
to self invest
and 
self reflect on our qualities
that make each of us 
special in our own right.


I believe 
Crowning Ourselves
and 
Self Care
can be done in so many ways 
like …

Buying ourselves  weekly flowers
to remind ourselves
of the beauty to be found
in the little moments
in life
that truly 
make up the big ones.

Taking time for candles and reflection.
My favorite time of my day
is my morning coffee and candles
and 
a clipboard of blank paper
before sunrise …
it makes me reflect on the vast possibilities 
of my new day.

Quality time spent 
with a good book
a walk in nature
free time in the garden
are all examples
of 
Crowning Ourselves
and 
Self Care.

I could go on and on ….


Basically they are all ways
to invest in 
treating ourselves well
and 
remembering our own intrinsic worth.


I believe we all need to 
be intentional
in finding
our own inner magic
and
remembering
to 
Crown Ourselves!


I also like the idea
of having a piece of jewelry 
to wear as a simple reminder
 to take the time to 
Crown Ourselves.

So I have designed just such a piece!
After searching high and low
for the perfect natural howlite beads
form Nova Scotia
in a natural matte finish
of the creamiest of creme colors …
and
finding 
the perfect three dimensional crown charms
that I have flown in from Australia
as a literal reminder
of not only the the Queen
that does exist in each of us
but even more
that it is 
our own uniqueness
that we must learn to celebrate and embrace!


To celebrate getting these two
long awaited bracelets
into my shop
I am not only doing
 a give away this week
but also
introducing the bracelets
at a deeply discounted price!

These two bracelets
each retail for $35.00
but this week  you can get them 25% off!!

 Use the code CROWNYOURSELF
 to get 25% the 9mm and 12mm bracelets through February 25th!


It is my way of saying thank you 
to you my wonderful readers that I am ever so grateful for!

For the giveaway
I will be giving away 
both of these bracelets!
That way you can
Crown Yourself
and
Crown a Friend!!

To enter, complete at least one of the following using the Rafflecopter widget:

1. Like Tamera Beardsley Design on Facebook
2. Follow @tamerabeardsley on Twitter
3. Tweet the message using Rafflecopter
4. Leave a comment on the blog about the friend you want to crown!

The giveaway will be open until Wednesday, February 25 at 11:59pm.

Best of luck !!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

As always my friends


I wish you love and joy
as you style your life








Navigating my Mother of the Bride Role


Those of you who follow my blog
know by now
we are in wedding mode at our house.

After a most romantic engagement
last September
and 
a memorable
engagement party last November
we are now in the throes 
of real planning …

It has taken me a while to really be excited at the prospect
and
I just couldn't put my finger on why.


I couldn't be happier with my daughter's choice
in the man she is going to marry.
He is such a hard working young man
with true character and integrity 
and 
loves my daughter dearly.
Trust me
he makes this momma's heart feel truly blessed.


I wondered if my reluctance in excitement
had to do with the money involved
but that has all been  addressed
and 
taken care of.
So that is definitely not it.


Then for a moment
I even winced at the possibility
(God forbid)
that maybe my lack of enthusiasm
was because I had turned into 
a self centered woman
who was only interested in things
centering on  herself.
But then I quickly  remembered
I would do anything for my children…
so that definitely 
(thank heavens)
wasn't it either.


So what is it I have wondered.


I don't even think I know for sure.
Maybe it's a lot of different layers that I 
need to pull back
so that I can truly savor every moment
of
being
Mother of the Bride.


I wonder …
if I thought by the time of my daughters wedding
life would be lined up 
perfectly.
What ever that means.

I remember
when I realized I was pregnant with my daughter
I  had the  thought that 
I should have had  my life perfectly lined up
and 
be a real grownup
before having children
But I was only me at the time.

And
now I know
having life perfectly lined up
is only
a  misconceptions of youth.


Maybe planning a wedding for one child
when another
has chosen to be estranged from our family
is a lot like the holidays.
A huge mirrored reflection
of the  searing pain in my heart
that never goes away
and
at best
can
on the good days
 be boxed up
and
 buried deep inside my heart
in order to be able
to move through my  days.


Maybe 
I have yet to update my
idea of
the mother of the bride
from when I was young
and
 it all 
sounded just so old and irrelevant to me.

Or
Maybe
I am dragging my feet
emotionally
because I really just can't stand the idea of 
letting go of my little girl.
Ever.


I do know for me
 stopping to reflect and examine my emotions
on the subject of being
 the Mother of the Bride
does 
give me clarity
and
 by doing so
I can hang them out on the line
in such  a way that I can claim
all of  them as mine
and 
by doing so
release them
from 
making their way subtly 
into 
the wedding planning.


Because
the bottom line is
I have tremendous love for my girl
and
will do
 Every. Thing. in my power
to ensure
she has not just
a beautiful
memorable
soulful
wedding
full of love
and
 sacred moments
but
I want the
 journey
getting there
to be filled with the same.

Trust me
this
momma here
will
definitely be rising to the
sacred position of
 Momma of the Bride.

So I can leave her a legacy
of
cherished love.


So she will
have it in her own heart
to pass on to her children.

To me
that's what this is all about.


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life