Crown Yourself This New Year

I will be taking the time to

Crown Myself 

this New Year.

I have stopped playing in the murky waters

of New Year's Resolutions years ago.

Instead

I am going to make

 beautiful rituals of

taking the time to 

Crown Myself

~ Reflect on all of the things I've done well this past year (and in life)

~ Savor again all of the magic moments that made my heart soar.

~ Make a list of my favorite Glimmers

~Reflect on where  and when I stood tall when I wanted to crumble

I choose to make

Crowning Myself

a beautiful ritual

 because at this age I know

~ I am responsible for my own happiness

~ No one is coming to save me

~ True personal validation is always an inside job

~We can only pour from a full cup

Crowning Yourself 

really can happen in so many ways

both literally  (everyone stands a little taller with a Crown)

and 

figuratively.

This New Year I have planned and taken time to sit quietly in a beautiful space

to reflect.

I will have a candles and flowers  to remind myself

that my relationship with myself

is of utmost importance.

After my scene is set

I will put on one of my Crowns

and

 sit quietly as I 

make notes of all the  good that comes up.

I will write those happy thoughts in my journal

or

better yet as a  beautiful love letter to myself.

I will open up my photos for the year

as helpful reminders of the splendid moments I experienced.

I will review my gratitude journal for the year

to be reminded of the small things

that were actually the big things in my heart.

I will review my business calendar to remember

what I have accomplished this year.

I will write down my favorite moments

taking the time to 

Savor and Enjoy

them all once again.

It is only then

after I bask in all the good and beauty and love

 I accomplished and experienced this last year

I will gently

and

 with much love and compassion

ask myself

~ Where would I like to grow.

~ What  behaviors would I like to change

so that I can experience life at a higher energy level.

~ Where does the majority of my joy come from?

~ What can I do to have a better relationship with myself?

~ What boundaries do I need to give myself to maximize my self love?

~ What can I do to support my own goals? 

~ What soothing rituals can I put into my daily life

to help me stay focused on my goals?

I have been looking for ways to do better

be more 

be successful

manage my emotions

since high school

as a way to manage my ongoing depression and anxiety.

I have lived in the self help sections of book stores

always on the quest to discover some nirvana where I feel

I've got it all figured out  and in place.

I know after all these years there is really no place to arrive

where everything stays in place

because life itself is continual motion.

But I do know for a fact we are better people 

when we can take the time to 

love and respect our own selves.

How much conflict with others is really our own internal conflict projected.

That is exactly why I am a firm believer in taking the time to

Crown Ourselves.

If you've been reading my blog for the lsat decade

you have read about it here before.

As much as I believe in 

Crowning Ourselves

even I have lost my way with it along my recent life journey.

That being said

I am so much happier

have so much more to give others

when I can remember

to love myself

take care of myself

make myself a priority

and 

live in a manner that I respect myself.

That is what

Crowning Myself 

truly means to me.

May we all remember to take the time

To Crown Ourselves

this New Year

As a visual reminder 

I will be adding  some sweet new

Crown Yourself Bracelets

to my shop!

Made out of my favorite Howlite gemstone beads

which is believed by many to 

to have calming and stress relieving properties

glass pearls

and a removable silver Crown Charm!

I am so excited about remembering to 

Crown Ourselves

I will be introducing these bracelet at

$95 

instead of the regular $125.

As always each piece comes beautifully gift wrapped 

with a complimentary hand made pearl charm.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

As you Style Your Life

Crown Yourself This Mother's Day

I always thought she had more power over me

than  she actually did.

Now I miss her 

no more than on 

Mother's Day

wishing I could have overcome 

my fear of  my Mother's judgement.

So easy to say

now that she has been gone so long.

I always thought one day

things would work themselves out

and 

we would have the 

storybook loving mother daughter relationship

that I had always yearned.

We had a nice relationship

but I always wanted more

but I was not courageous about saying so.

I don't even know if my expectations were realistic.

Maybe sometimes we want things from others 

that  they never had to give.

Maybe we internalize TV and movie  versions of 

perfect mother daughter relationships.

I grew up with a younger sister with not only down syndrome

but  a life threatening heart condition as well.

So many  of my younger years were spent  with what felt like months at a time

in hospital waiting rooms

by myself.

While my parents were with my sister.

We were all hoping and praying  she would survive pneumonia 

year after year.

My parents were brave and tireless taking care of my sister

during a time it was recommended for parents

to institutionalize babies with down syndrome.

Because of the years of ongoing trauma for all of us

I was literally told by my parents

"we don 't have time for your nonsense"

meaning ever talking about my feelings.

They really didn't  have time

but as a young child with no  life context

it made me feel like I had to be perfect.

I always felt guilty to have more than others

because I felt bad that I had more than my sister.

I didn't really.  

We all come from the framework of our past.

We all come from imperfect parents

( including for sure my own children)

I so wish my parents were still here

so I could learn more about 

the traumas they overcame.

It wasn't until my mother's funeral

that I learned her harsh upbringing.

I only mention my history

to put in context why

I believe so strongly in

Crowning Ourselves

I believe 

it's is up to us to 

fill our own cup.

I believe it is our own responsibility to

 Self Validate.

and 

Self Care

We all deserve to be happy and feel good about ourselves.

We all matter

and 

we should especially  matter to ourselves.

It took me a long time to realize this.

I felt I was forever tying to fill 

a hole in my heart.

Often it was food or wine or buying.

Often expecting people in my life

to be able to fill the endless hole.

And there were years I felt people could.

Those first breathlessly happy years with Jeff

where new love was intoxicating

and 

overflowing.

There were years with young children

that my heart once again felt overflowing

But unrealistic expectation began  to appear

that others were meant to keep the hole filled.

Now I firmly believe

 feeling whole

and 

filling our own heart

must start from within ones own self.

It's a decision I  made to myself

that I matter.

To see  myself with eyes of love.

And since  I matter 

it's up to me

to take care of me.

And it's incredibly freeing to do so.

There is much more control and peace in accepting

Self Responsibility and Self Care

Now I am old enough to know

we are all trying the very best we can

on  our own personal journeys 

that is our life.

And sometimes we have no idea

what others are experiencing internally.

Because 

I am responsible for my own emotions

I will be

Crowning Myself

this 

Mother's Day

and 

everyday.

I will create ways

both literally and figuratively

to

Crown Myself.

I will end every day going over

what I did well

I will take up room.

I will be the lead in my own story.

I will celebrate my life

by finding joy and beauty everyday!

Because I know for a fact

life is so much sweeter

when we 

love others from a full cup.

One of the gifts of taking good care of myself

is that I have so much more to give.

The better I love myself

the better I am able to love others.

So that is why I choose daily to

Crown Myself.

This is neither a sad story

or 

a blame mommy story.

I have nothing but the upmost respect and love of my mother.

It's actually a story for me

and 

for anyone else it might help as a reminder.

Which makes it  merely a story

in which I recognize

that so many times what we yearn 

to receive from from others

is actually something 

We need to give to ourselves.

To truly love ourselves

mistakes, flaws and fabulousness

all rolled together

into what makes us

uniquely us.

That's what

Crown Yourself

means to me.

And why I continue to hold the concept

near and dear to my heart,

Happy Mother's Day

my friends.

May you

 Crown Yourself 

today and every day

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

Crown Yourself

I can't believe how long it's been since 

I've written 

about my concept of 

Crowning Ourselves.

It's a concept that is so near and dear to my heart

I keep thinking

as soon as I get done with ….

(that list has gone on for almost a year now)

I'll get back to it.

But it seems life keeps getting in the way …

so very many different ways.

And today I realized

maybe that's it.

Life is busy

and

messy

and some days hard

and others spectacular.

Life just keeps on going.

And maybe it's right 

there.

Right

 there

 why it is so important to

take the time  to …

Crown Ourselves.

Take the time

or 

a moment

or 

a ritual

to stop.

To take stock of our 

Inherent Good.

Stock of where we have done well this week.

To write it down 

so we can remember 

to make a place for it in our 

own heart.

It's so easy

to have a continual running list

of what needs to be done.

Who needs what when.

Fires to put out

hearts to nurture.

situations to address.

But I have learned to do that my best

I have to take the time to

Crown Myself.

Take the time for 

Self Care.

Self nurture.

Self investment.

To take a break form the critical voice

and

refocus

on 

Self Kindness

and 

Self Worth.

And nothing reminds me to do

all of that like

Crowning Myself.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you 

Crown Yourself

Crowning Ourselves With Body Positivity

What if we could flip a switch in our own heads

and 

decide to

Love Our Body

just as it is

 today.

What a perfect way to truly

Crown Ourselves!!

Instead of focusing on our personal 

perceived flaws

we woke up in the morning with wonderful

self love talk to ourselves

in which we marveled in

our very own magnificence.

That we were 

so very much more than 

good enough

today 

just as we are.

As someone who has struggled a lifetime

of not feeling good enough

body wise

I have decided I am done with that thinking.

I have realized life is much to short

to focus on what I don't like

instead

I am choosing to 

focus on all the parts 

I do love.

I am changing the beauty standard

I carry in my own mind.

I am changing it to revel in my own curves

instead of flinching in shame.

I choose today to decide 

I want to love, honor and respect

my own body.

That is one of the 

birthday gifts

I am giving myself this year.

I want to appreciate this body

that brought three wonderful humans into the world.

I want to appreciate this body

that is active and healthy.

That allows me to hike, kayak, and ride

in nature.

A body that moves with strength through Pilates and the gym.

A body that is sensual and strong.

I am choosing to drop any shame I carry 

of not having

'a self perceived perfect body'

and 

instead choose

to marvel in the magnificence

in this body that has 

served me so well

these past 59 years.

When we

 love, honor and respect 

our own body

it is so much easier to

 invest in good health

from a place of 

gratitude

instead of shame.

It is so much easier 

to dress a body

we choose to love

instead

of telling ourselves

we will get the new clothes

when we loose the weight or fix whatever perceived flaw.

Focusing on what we don't like

 blocks out the light 

of our own magnificence.

Because in the end 

it's never really what we look like

it's all about how we feel about our 

own reflection.

So this year as I turn 60

I am giving myself

permission

to be

 absolutely fabulous!

To Crown Myself!

To celebrate myself

just as I am.

Not 

someday when ...

Knowing I more years behind me

than in front

is absolutely

freeing! 

I am never going to be perfect

or younger than I am today.

I am choosing to celebrate myself

today.

Just as I am.

  

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

Crown Yourself

It literally has been ages since I have written about 

Crowning Yourself

or designing

Crowns.

But I am back today

doing both.

I think sometimes in life

it's easy to fall off the path

of things you know to be true

and 

have to learn them all over again

at a deeper level.

If you have been reading my blog for the past 9 months

you are aware that I have been going through a 

'rough patch' 

to say the least.

You can read more about it HERE

And I can say for a fact

what I have learned for sure

beyond a shadow of a doubt

it is my job to

Crown Myself

It is my job to get up every morning

and

look for the good and beautiful

in my Life.

It is my job to

 invest in my own well being

so that I can better

Love Myself.

It is my job

to focus on my own gifts and talents

and

celebrate and embrace them daily wholeheartedly.

Never comparing my life to others

instead

celebrating 

that we all have our own gifts.

And by celebrating my own

 uniqueness and gifts

I can become a mirror

in which others 

can celebrate their very own 

gifts and talents.

Crowns

 for me

are a visual representation of

celebrating my own uniqueness.

Designing 

Crowns for others

is a way  I can offer my particular gifts

so that others 

can 

celebrate their own uniqueness.

It is my job

to learn form the hard times

to further refine my soul

and 

learn how to love at a deeper level.

Because I truly believe

we are  all doing the best we can

with what we have at the time.

When we know better

we do better.

It is my job to

 become the best version of myself

so that I can add more

light and love into the world.

Jeff and I were at a simple breakfast Sunday

when in walks a women who must have been well into her 80's.

The staff was excited for her arrival as they saw her from the outside.

When she came in she embraced each person with such

love, admiration, respect and joy

I wanted to be in her light.

Then she came over to say hi to us

and 

embraced us like old friends

saying she was so glad we were here today.

I could literally feel her love and light

as a warmth in my heart.

I was reminded

that is who 

I want to be

'When I grow up'.

I believe

I am on my way.

Crowns

 and

 all.

As always my friends

I wish you  much love and joy

as you style your life

The Importance of Self Love

I am writing this today on 

Valentine's Day

The Day to Celebrate Love.

This year I come to this day

with a different perspective.

If you have been reading my blog recently

you know already that 

I have been living through the ramifications of

Marriage Betrayal.

So Valentine's Day feels different to me today.

Not in a bitter

want nothing to do with the day kind of feeling.

Rather with a deeper understanding of the need of

Self Love

first in a relationship.

In the last three months

I have done so much 

Soul Searching

asking myself in so many different ways

How did I ever end up 

after 30 years of marriage

betrayed.

What had happened to the true love that we 

had both been so strongly invested in

within  our relationship.

And as I have said in my very first post about 

the betrayal

I am in no way saying I had in responsibility in the cheating

but 

I am smart enough to know

that I need to take responsibility

in searching for answers

as to how we ever sowed the  path to betryal.

It has been a path so dark since the discovery

I often wondered if I would ever get through.

And

to be completely honest 

there are still days full of  such darkness

but thankfully they move on much more quickly.

And there is something quite profound with the passing of the darkness.

There is often a pristine  light of clarity

that is revealed in it's aftermath.

One of the true realizations I have had

is the utmost importance of 

Self Love.

Without Self Love first in a relationship

I realized

I was always looking to my husband for 

validation on some level.

(and getting so hardened and bitter

when I didn't immediately get the response I was looking for)

When  I should have been looking in 

my own 

Heart and Soul

for validation and worth.

I need to take charge of my own opinion of myself.

Because when we look outside of ourselves

for worth and validation

we give away our own 

power and worth.

And put a huge burden on another.

I have realized through this very brutal process

that for me to be truly bring my best version of myself

to my marriage

I need to first

practice 

Self Love

and

 Self Care.

I have to find my own inner balance.

I must first come from a place of

Love and Grace 

for myself

so that I can love others fully.

I have often written here on my blog about 

Self Care

(you can enter Self Care in the search button on the left side

to bring up the various posts)

To me 

Self Love and Self Care

go hand in hand.

One can't fully exist without the other.

I am highly invested in both these days

as I know

my husband and I have to bring our best selves

back to our marriage 

if we are going to make it through this devastation

onto a deeper, more loving 

version of our marriage.

Everyday we are making our marriage a priority

doing everything we can

to not only repair the damage done

but to build the strongest, most stable foundation

of love and trust going forward.

Self love
is such a crucial 

building block in this process.

So this Valentine's Day

I hope we all realize how very important

Self Love

is in deep and loving relationships.

And the importance in investing in true

Self Care.

Sending out much

Valentine Love 

to each of you

no matter the day!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

and 

Crown Yourself