Write the Blog You Want To Read … part one


*This is the first part of a 6 part weekly series
You can find the introduction here


Although I hope this series will have something interesting for everyone
it is especially for those of us looking for our next chapter
like I was years ago …
before I started blogging.


Part one

WHAT THE BLOGS YOU READ 
CAN SAY ABOUT THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE.

The day after I dropped off my daughter  at college
it hit me.
I had no idea what I was going to do next.
Even though I had two teenage boys still at home
I realized just how much I had made my daughter's life and needs
my life.

For the first time
I could see clearly  and it scared me to the bone.

What was I going to do now that
my girl was gone
and
 it was an inevitability
that soon my boys would be too.

I had no idea who I was
outside of parenting
and
 even scarier
I had no real idea of who or what I wanted to be.
I had been so invested in my children
for all practical purposes I had lost me.

Flash forward 2 years.


Today I am clear on who I want to be
and
how I want to live my life.

I know I want to live a beautiful life full of love.

I want to make great art.

I want to inspire others.

And the path from then
to here

all happened because
 I started to blog.



Today's first installment
in my series

WRITE THE BLOG YOU WANT TO READ
it can help you find the life you want to live


How examining the blogs you read
can help you find the life you want to live.

I came to blogging slowly.
I read a couple for more than a year before I ever started blogging.
But I was always very clear on the kind of blog
I didn't want to have…

A blog that was just one more place
women would have to compare themselves
 or
add things to their already overwhelming to do list.

I wanted a place of truth.
A real place … a place to be real.


My fire was lit
when I came across the publication

Artful Blogging.



I saw how a blog could be a creative venture.

I was in.

It was in that issue I found
 Lisa Leonard's blog
and
 was captivated by her sharing
 her heartbreak
her love of family
and
 developing a successful jewelry business.


I realized with reading her blog
to be a regular reader I  needed to feel a heart connection
to be inspired with beauty
and
 feel what I was reading
was real life.
The beauty and the trials
all the shades of life that give it  true dimension.


From Lisa
I found Lindsey of
The Pleated Poppy.
Lindsey also shares her family life
and
 her home designs
as well as running her own successful business.
It was Lindsey's
What I Wear Wednesday's
that made me decide to  just start to blog.
I might not have had  a clear vision of what I wanted to blog about
but at least
starting a blog
to even get interested in putting together
outfits
 that I truly liked
was one small step in the right direction
of finding me.

That's how I started blogging.


I found someone who's life inspired me
and
another who also had
 a place to share my interest in clothes.

While I posted weekly outfits
I also used my blog as an online journal.
Taking pictures during the day
and
 writing about my transitioning family along the way
and
 keeping them all neatly organized in my thoughts category.


During this time I found Judith of
The Style Crone
Her positive energy, grace and bravery while
transitioning from the loss of her husband
gave me strength and perspective
during my life transitions.
Judith was able to give dignity to grief
while still embracing the promise
of life's goodness still to come.
Reading her blog
I found inspiration
that helped heal my heart.


I think I had been blogging about a year
and
 I don't know how I found her blog
but the next blog I found
was  Adrienne's of
The Rich Life On a Budget
which became  another catalyst blog for me.

I remember at first it was her posts
about outings with her husband that had me interested.
Because if truth be told
and I always tell the truth here…
I had neglected my dear husband
in my attempt to be a perfect mother.
I remember reading Adrienne's posts about nights out
and weekends away
and thinking…
wow …
I have a husband …
we could do that …
we should do that.

Yep.
It was reading Adrienne's blog
one that wasn't all about having kids
that I could begin to
 uncover a new vision of what I wanted my future life to be.

I wanted to go new places
with my husband.
I wanted to have date nights with my husband.
I could still be a good mother
and layer in what I had neglected.

Since then I have traveled to Europe with my husband
Adrienne has great tips on that too :))
Now every Friday night
Jeff and I go out
and
 we are now on weekly adventures to find new destinations
in our own LA backyard.

The very best part of Adrienne's blog story
is that now I even have the honor of calling her friend.


I have asked myself what is it about each blog
I read in the beginning
that kept me coming back.
When I asked that
I realized
They all had something that fell into my emerging
 categories.
Over the course of 2 years
I had gone from having no idea of what I wanted to do
to having
a clear cut list of interests.
Now I can fit almost all of my interests into one
of my blog categories which are ...

1.  My Shop … as I have decided I am still passionate about my true love of accessories and want to
     return to being a business owner.

2. Wardrobe … the first category I had … and the one that kept me posting weekly in my blogs 
    beginning. 

3. Home and Garden … I have lived in the same small house for over 19 years now … to me it and our 
    gardens are part of our family.  Decorating and planting it seasonally, has been a love of mine since 
    the day we moved in.  Even through the sad days … my house and garden always brought me 
    solace.

4. Gatherings and Parties … where I celebrate my love for family and friends and life's celebrations.

5. DIY … when I have something I'm so excited about … I just have to share how to … like my 
    brooch necklace.

6. Saturday Quotes … I am someone whose soul is fueled by inspiring words … on Saturday I share 
     the ones that have helped me that week. 

7.  Thoughts … here I have the online journal of my blog … how I have processed  and worked 
     through and continue to work through … this transitioning part of life.

8.  Places … where I share my burgeoning curiosity for new places … and some of my familiar 
     favorites.



Blogging the last two years
 helped me realize that I wanted to

Make My Life My Art
One Day At A Time


_________________________ 

What the blogs you read
can say about the life 
you want to live

When looking at the blogs you read
for  personal insight
here are some questions to ask yourself



1.  What types of blogs do I read?

2.  What are my interests?

3.  What makes my heart race?

4.  What are my 3 favorite blogs?

5.  Why in three words or less are they  my      
    favorite.

6.  What do I aspire to do?

7.  If money wasn't a decision maker … what 
    would I want to do today?

8.  What is it about the blogs I read … that I 
    am drawn to?

9.  What is one thing with each blog I read …
    that speaks to my heart.

10.  What types of blogs am I not attracted 
     to?


It was when I started to examine
the blogs I read daily
and had a connection with
that I began to see more clearly
some ideas I was attracted to
and
 shifts I wanted to make in my life.

I hope this series can help you
find a path
that leads you to the 
life you want to live.



As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life




Next weeks installment in this series is
all about

How taking daily photos
can help you find the beauty 
in your every day life.










44 comments:

  1. I am so on the same path as YOU its scary!I am totally inspired by YOU!
    Brava……….you figured it out!I'm still searching……..maybe if I answer your questions in the post I will get a step closer!
    Amazing how we have a connection from OCC and even more AMAZING ADRIENNE found me on INSTAGRAM and it seems we lived very close to each other in the same city just a few decades apart!
    I have to say BLOGGING was a great IDEA…….do we know who came up with it?And You my dear do a WONDERFUL blog…….I'm hooked!XXX

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    1. Thank you my dear La Contessa! Your fabulous portraits with your sons in Paris … tell me you have an elegant and wonderfully glamorous future! I look forward to seeing how your new passions in your next life phase!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  2. This is a great list of questions, my blog has been more of a chore than fun recently so I will do that as an exercise.
    I too am at the 'what now' stage, I have no idea what to do with my life as I come into my 50th year, I don't seem to have any passions at all.

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    1. Dearest Tabitha … from where I sit your life appears quite glamorous … and you can turn a phrase like none other! I do hope your plans are still to celebrate your 50th here in LA!! I for one … couldn't be happier if you did!!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  3. Tamera, this post resonated with me so much and I am so excited about this series. I will be an empty nester about six months from now and am also struggling with the next step. Some days it seems crystal clear, and others not so much. I do agree that writing a blog can help you discover so much about yourself. That has been my experience anyway. Write on! Can't wait for the next installment. (And I discovered you via Adrienne. :))

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    1. Thank you Julie! I just visited your lovely blog and I see we both have a college daughter and a senior son! Yes, life's transitions can be tricky to navigate … and ... I can see you definitely know the joys of blogging! Thank you so much for your visit and your encouraging comments!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  4. I have fewer than five blogs that I read daily, yours being the newest one. Funny, when I first found your blog I was sure that I would not like it. You see, I am very much a minimalist when it comes to dressing and accessorizing. Earrings (that don't dangle) and a scarf, yes, but never would I add a necklace on top of it. You get the idea. :)) I did however read on, and I came upon your 'thoughts'. You see, having three children myself, I have been through hell and back more than once, often wondering whether it was safe for me to exhale. Right now I am in recovery mode from the latest episode. So, whilst our dressing style may be miles apart there is something much more deep that connects. I am constantly amazed at the thoughtful writing by women of our age in the blog world. You may pile on your accessories whilst I pare mine way down, but we have so much more in common than that. And that is very good by my account.

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    1. Cornelia … this is such a beautiful comment … and it's sentiment truly touches my heart. I absolutely love your honesty about not thinking you would like my blog because of my dramatic style … I am so honored your read past the photos. You are so right … many times our lives may look different on the outside … but by the time we get to this age … life teaches us just how much we really do have in common … especially those of us with children of an age.

      I am so sorry to hear that you 'have been to hell and back' … I can understand the pain involved … I am glad you are in recovery mode my dear.

      Your writing is always so elegant and honest … could there perhaps be a blog in your future :))

      Thank you very much for your comments … they are always a gift.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  5. Dear Tamera,

    I can't begin to tell you what this post means to me. That I inspired you to spend more time having fun with your husband...well, that is wonderful! You are such a special person who has an incredible way with words and feelings. I don't know of another blogger who can express thoughts and feelings so well - you put into words what the rest of us are still trying to sort out in our heads! Such a gift you have...actually, you have so many, it's just one of dozens. I hope you know how special you are and how many people you touch.
    The interactions that I have with you and a handful of other bloggers and readers is priceless to me. I am honored to call you a friend.
    And I can't wait to read more in this fantastic series. Well done! XOXO

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    1. Adrienne, thank you so very much for your kind, sweet words! I still remember when I read you were heading down to SOCal, and realized that I had to take a risk … leave my comfort zone … and invite you over. I knew at that time, i could either stay safe in my comfort zone or take a risk to make my life "Richer". I am ever so happy I took the chance … you, my dear, are truly an inspiring friend!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  6. Be. Still. My. Soul. That's just what you spoke here to me today. The way you can take your inner thoughts and turn them into words to share is a remarkable talent. I am forever grateful that because I chose to post a blog I was able to connect with dear friends like yourself.

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    1. Dearest Trina … thank you my friend for your loving and encouraging words. Yes, there is true magic in our blogging world … that kindred spirits can find each other … and truly connect.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  7. love this post and love your outfit.

    I try to do a blog I want to read.

    So many good blogs out that that inspire x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so … dear Faux Fuchsia! You do a blog I love to read as well … with every visit I am delighted with a glimpse into you lovely world! Thanks ever so much for your support and endorsement on your blog … I was truly touched, excited and honored!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  8. Very interesting way to go about things by examining the blogs we read and why.

    I am much better at saying what I don't what I want my blog to be rather than what I do.

    This has me thinking.

    I definately try my hardest to write a blog that I personally would want to read, but how that affects my life, I'm not sure.

    Thanks for starting this series. I will be following along and maybe doing some homework.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    Replies
    1. Suzanne thank you for you comment. I know you do a blog that is honest and forthright … with plenty of fashion style. To have gotten you thinking is quite the compliment. I so enjoy not only your honest voice on your blog … but even more the personal stories you have shared.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  9. A simple thank you seems somehow insufficient Tamera! I've been wandering rather aimlessly for the last few years and I am well aware that my blog content mirrors this lack of direction. Although I think it is acceptable to blog without a master plan; every issue of Artful Blogging has me longing for a foundation on which to build my blog. This, your first installment, has already shifted my thoughts from doubt and confusion to hope and optimism. xo

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    1. Ok Sue … "your first installment, has shifted my thoughts from doubt and confusion to hope and optimism"… has to be the very best comment I could have ever hoped for form this series! I am doing this series to share the gifts I have found from blogging … with hopes of inspiring others to enrich their own lives … and you my dear … have just enriched mine with your lovely words and appreciation of the series!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  10. Always something thoughtful from you, Tamera. I started blogging after reading blogs for a long time and finding that it was difficult to comment unless I had an actual blog. So I started one. I had no idea of a theme or how to take a picture. I'm still not sure what I'm doing. And when my kids left home and my health took a nose dive I can honestly say that blogging literally saved my life! It did! I would have curled up into a ball and expired without my blog friends. No exaggeration. You absolutely belong in Artful Blogging. I am going to take your tips to heart. Can't wait for the next installment!

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    1. Connie my dear, I couldn't agree more with you … on the life saving capabilities of blogging. I too, was heartbroken and on my knees before blogging (well a lot of the time while blogging too :)) … and with blogging finding not only a place that was mine … but so many connections as well … truly was life changing for me! Sharing exactly that … is why I am doing this series! Thank you so much for your kind sharing and encouraging words!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  11. Tamera, what a fabulous post and series! (The pictures here are stunning...but you know, your pictures usually are stunning!) I like what you are doing here and you have provoked much thought on my part. I also read Adrienne and Judith...they have inspired me for a long time. You have been an inspiration from the first necklace!! I look forward to reading more and contemplating more and becoming friends more!

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    1. Pam thank you so very much for your kind words! I remember finding your blog … and realizing there was a beautiful new to me pond … of like and age minded members! Your voice for those of us of this age is always uplifting and encouraging … especially your " I Matter" series!

      to have provoked thought … is such a great compliment … and I too look forward to becoming friends more!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  12. Tamera, your series comes at the right time for me. I started blogging after finishing school and feeling a bit rudderless. All of a sudden, I had 'free' time. I had no idea what to do and frankly, a year later I'm still trying to figure things out. Reflecting on your questions is a really good start. I can tell you that I love your blog and that you've inspired me to explore jewelry making! I am also exploring my own personal style which seems to have dramatically changed over the course of this year...for some unknown reason :)

    Thanks again for putting your thoughts out there and encouraging reflection. I look forward to growing my blog...kind of like tending to a garden.

    Cheers,
    Holli

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  13. Holli it sounds like you well on your way to crafting a life of your choice! I applaud your life changes and commitment to growth! I also just saw on your blog how beautiful you are looking in your personal style!

    Thank you for following along and your kind comments on my series!

    xoxo
    Tamera

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  14. Tamera, you and your blog are so inspirational, your thoughtful words and wonderful images are a joy. Thank you for sharing your blogging story and your early inspirations. ... I am reflecting on your thoughts . As a new blogger I have much to learn . Thank you for this timely series. Jill x

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    1. Dear Jill, thank you for your kind words! I am so very happy you have begun to blog and I hope you find as many true gifts from blogging as I have! I am very excited to see you have joined in the link parties … and I have told you before … I adore your blog name and tag line! Kudos to you my dear … I am very proud of you!

      Thanks so much for following along with this series!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  15. We all have our different reasons for blogging, and I too was a reader and follower before I started a blog myself. I felt such a strong desire to join in with a community of women, all of whom are quite different in lifestyle and age, but who share themselves, and offer encouragement and support. It has been hugely beneficial to me. I have no great master plan for my blog - and certainly not for my life either! - but I enjoy it, and love meeting so many women who I would never have encountered otherwise.
    Your blog is always stylish, but often thought-provoking too, and I like that. The bloggers I love best share something of themselves, something personal and meaningful, they speak in a voice that seems real and truthful. I hope I do the same. Style, and clothes, and gorgeous photos; yes, I like those too, but without any substance behind them, these elements would be empty. You combine all them brilliantly, Tamera! xx

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    1. Oh dear Curtise … thank you for this gift of words! You are always so generous and thoughtful with your comments … which your legions of faithful followers can attest to! Not only do you share your style and glimpses into your UK life … you always share your heart and speak your truth!

      Thank you for these words … they have touched my soul!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  16. Tamera, I hope you will understand my bad english, I´m from Germany, but I will try :)

    I have seen many, many, many blogs in my life. Many of german blogs but also blogs from all over the world.
    Not in one of these huge number of blogs I´ve had this hearttouching feeling like I have when reading YOUR blog. Every picture, every word comes directly from your heart.
    I´m reading your blog a very long time, but never leave a comment because I always think my english is too bad.
    You are doing it very, very right here and I want to send you today a big thank you. I´m so glad that I´ve found it.

    many kind greetings from Germany
    have a wonderful week and keep this blog a very long time alive
    Dana :)
    http://danalovesfashionandmusic.blogspot.de/

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    1. Dana Jo, thank you so very much for your heartfelt comments … I so appreciate them … they touch my soul! ! I am honored that you took the time to comment … especially when English is not your native language … and by the way I think you do a wonderful job with your English! I have nothing but the utmost respect for anyone who can speak more than one language!

      Thank you again for your kind and encouraging words … and for following along with this series!

      xoxo
      Tamera

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  17. Dear Tamera,
    Until just a short time ago, the only blogs I read were those written about homes and decor, and they didn' t post on a daily basis. Your blog is the first I have read that not only touches on these topics but inspires the mind and body. I find you to be an amazing, beautiful soul with great strengths. Not to say you haven't had weak moments in your life, that is what makes you a reality. Sometimes beautiful and stylish woman can be intimidating to those who believe there cannot be any hardships or frustrations in their lives. As if these attributes erase pain! Truth be told we all fight demons at least once in our lives. Your blog not only shares the fashionable moments in your life but the truths in your journeys. That's what makes you real to us. I applaud your strengths and share in your weaknesses. With much
    gratitude and love!
    Joanne Butler (beauchateau)

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  18. Joannne, I am truly humbled and in awe of your kind words so eloquently written. Thank you for this gift that touches my very soul. Your writing has such beauty and emotion … I am so happy we were able to connect over IG. I love the beautiful photos of your projects you post.

    So ... beautiful heart felt words with creative and inspiring images … you know I'm going to ask … any chance a blog is in your future my dear! If so … you know I will be your first follower!

    xoxo
    Tamera

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    1. Dearest Tamera,
      I am so deeply flattered that you would even wonder if I have given any thought to starting my own blog! I have never considered myself a "writer" in any sense of the word. Even if my writing were "eloquent" as you described, my fear of having to daily pen my thoughts to paper might be overwhelming for me. Since following your blog I have been amazed at how much time you must devote to this wonderful and inspiring display of photos and words of wisdom. Blogging is indeed a full time commitment to your followers! From the posts above one has to realize how much you touch their lives, including mine. I give you and your fellow bloggers much praise for allowing so much time out of your lives to touch others.

      If I some day change my mind you will be the first to know! So thankful for your friendship through IG. It has changed my life...
      XOXO

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    2. Joanne I understand your concern with blogging being a time commitment … I think to do a blog there must be a true feeling … of an internal need to do it. I think you my dear have found the best of both worlds on instagram! Ig has become a perfect way to have a mini blog of sorts … and develop a community as well! So glad IG brought us together!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  19. Beautiful Tamera. You have such a way with words. Thank you for sharing Adrienne's blog too by the way - am now following her too! Much love and happiness, Liss xxx

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    2. Thank you dear Liss for your sweet words! Congratulations on your wedding!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  20. My sister in law suggests you surround yourself with women (and men) you admire, so you can be inspired and be your best self. I think the same goes for reading blogs. I've certainly been influenced by blogs I read and have also developed some wonderful friendships. I love your blog, and have been motivated to tinker a little with jewellery. I also identified with loosing my identity when I had my boys- however they are much younger, and am now reclaiming this again. I look forward to your future instalments.

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  21. Hello again tamera - you've really got me thinking about blogging. I read the comments and noticed that many don't just read blogs but have their own. It's a lovely way to record your life but also to remember to live your life. I do Instagram and love that (jkbartist) but you've really got me thinking I need to record and discover my own life.

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