A True 'Ghost' Story … and Gratitude


It's funny how we can fall away from our own truths over the years.

Yesterday when I was letting myself go into my own little pity party
of  how … things didn't work out how I had planned ….
(with one of my children) ...

I was reminded of many years ago….


I had 3 children under 4.
I was overcome with responsibility 
and
 with the third 
had been thrown off my career course.

I was feeling disappointed and angry with my life….

I had worked my entire life for a career
and
 here I was 
mother of three
and
 had recently
before the birth of my third
had even shuttered my business
as I realized I couldn't do it all.

I was not happy.
 I always thought I could completely direct the course of my life
I was a women who had grown up in the 80's 
I could do it all.

But only to realize I couldn't.
Not well at least.
So I had almost begrudgingly
decided to 
'just be a mother'.

So simmering disappointment and anger 
accompanied me on my daily mothering duties.


Then one evening 
in the dark hours of the night
I woke up to see 
our hall light  was on.
Out of no where it had just
 come on.

Not thinking too much of it…
but waking and mentioning it to my husband  just the same…
we dismissed it as a faulty dimmer on the hall light
shut it off and went back to bed.

The second night
I again awoke in the middle of the night
 to the hall light on.
This time I woke my husband to make sure he saw it too.
I joked with him
going back to sleep
if the next night the bathroom light came on instead
I would know
 it was a message from beyond.

Yes.
the very next night
I awoke 
to that very bathroom light being on.
It wasn't a faulty dimmer switch on  this light.

I can still remember
the feeling in the realization of what had happened
and
 my blood running cold.
This was something from somewhere else.

 You can hear of these sort of  happenings
but until  you experience it for yourself
they can be dismissed.

Even that night 
as dismayed and shocked as I was
I couldn't really understand the message
until I told the story in the morning
of how ...


"I woke up and saw the light"
As soon as I uttered those words…
I knew.

I knew
that I had seen the light
and
 knew in my heart of hearts
the meaning.

That I had been so busy mourning my past
and
 a future that wasn't going to be the way I thought it would be ...

I was missing the beauty and blessings that were my life.

I had been given a future
that was  so much richer than I
could have imagined.
Being the momma to my three
was a true blessing
 and
 a miracle in how it actually came to be.
(which is a story in itself for another day).

As soon as I uttered the words
I knew some day I would miss these days
(and indeed I have so very much).


I realized that this was actually a sacred time
that I had been blessed with three lives to raise.
and
in that realization
 my life was changed forever
because

"I woke up and saw the light".



Even though my life was different from what I had thought it would be

it was richer than I could of ever imagined.
My heart was full.

I never saw my situation the same.
I truly woke up to see the beauty and the mystery 
that is
 life.


Our lives don't always look like what we imagine
sometimes we have to 
"wake up and see the light".
and
Let got of what was
and
our vision of what will be.


And fully embrace the 
what is now.



In the course of waking those three nights

I was able to wake up to  truly see
and
 experience
the beauty
 and
 the miracle 
that was my life then
being the mother to my three.



I remembered my story today

as I was once agin settling for a little self pity party
in that  my life didn't turn out exactly 
like I thought …

only to realize and remember
that life often doesn't

but the trick is to

"wake up and see the light"
and the beauty
that is in life
today.

Because 
I know

that 

if we waste days 
mourning our past
or a future we had imagined

we miss the beauty
that this present day brings.


I also know that the best way 
to see today's beauty

is with intentional 
gratitude.

I am ever so grateful 
for 
three nightly visits
a long time ago

and to know 
there is so much more to life
than what I can see
 today.


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you find your own 
truths in life.










33 comments:

  1. Tamera this post is beautifully written. This would make a lovely entry in a gratitude journal...
    Your images are carefully edited and rich in ambiance. Just lovely.
    Be well.
    XO

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    1. Thank you my dear hostess for your beautiful words!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  2. Oh my sweet friend, that "Light" has been my guide every single day. I'm forever grateful for where it leads and guides me daily. Isn't it wonderful to have this guide as a mother? It's also wonderful when it leads us to new and beautiful friends as well. I have also learned through my years that at times We are the light that many are needing for a time, no matter how dim our light may seem, it's still a light. Thank you for shining yours today.

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    1. Trina … thank you, my dear light filled friend … for you radiate love and beauty … to all who are lucky enough to know you! You have become a true gift of blogging to me!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  3. These are powerful words: " Our lives don't always look like what we imagine sometimes we have to "wake up and see the light".
    and Let got of what was and our vision of what will be....and fully embrace what is now."
    Thanks Tamera....I needed these words today!


    And fully embrace the
    what is now.

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    1. Pam thank you for your encouraging and understanding words. I must admit, this was one post that had me pondering over the publish button … it is such an important story to me … I was hoping others could also find value in the story. Thank you for taking the time to leave your beautiful comment.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  4. I love this epiphany you describe so beautifully!! I all too often find myself enjoying my own little pity party. I'm thankful for the glorious reminders you give us. Be well my friend. xo

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    1. Thank you dear Jennifer. Yes, sometimes calling ourselves in the midst of a party … is one way to move on. Happy to know I am not the only one having 'parties' :))

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  5. Lovely...words fail me at this moment...I am grateful and appreciative of your thoughtful dialogue.

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    1. Thank you my dear … you are always filled with such generosity and sweetness!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  6. Your words are so exquisitely scribed it leaves me almost speechless. You capture what so many of us feel daily and we are reminded of why we are here. It took me too many years to come into my own but it is never to late to "see the light". You are a vibrant soul with so much to give, thank you for your thoughts my friend.XO Beauchateau

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    1. Dearest Joanne … thank you for these beautiful words … they are truly a gift to my soul. I am curious of your guardian angel belief … as I know it usually takes quite an event to truly believe :))

      Thank you my dear for stopping by to read …. and to leave such a gift.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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    2. Tamera, I have written you my story and it has turned out to be about a page and a half. I would like to know if you would prefer that I send it to you in a different format, not on your blog. I don't even know if this space permits that long a reply. Let me know when you get a chance.
      XOXO,
      Joanne

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    3. My dear … I would be honored for you to leave your story on my blog!!! It is the comments after a post … that make the richness … where stories are shared … and the magic is made!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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    4. Dear Tamera,

      I have reflected all day as to how to sum up the occurrences both my daughter and I have experienced. I will begin by saying that I believe we all have Guardian angels no matter where our religious paths have taken us. Many people do not conceive of them, but they are always present guiding us to do what is right. Terms like ‘conscience’ or ‘intuition’ are simply today’s terms for Guardian Angel. It’s that little voice in your head telling you what to do or what to think. It can be that simple! Guardian angels will never interfere with your free will but will give you guidance when you ask for it.

      One of the first times I “saw the light” (about 13 years ago) was after reading a book called “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz. Not one to seek out “self-help” books, I was inspired as I watched him on Oprah. His book was life changing for me. All four agreements are challenging, but the most dramatic change for me was accepting agreement #2. Don’t Take Anything Personally. Meaning “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” Many a pity party was thrown by fear of what others might say or think about me. I had always lacked confidence and this agreement was difficult to accept. But I believe my Guardian Angel presented this opportunity to challenge myself and look for the strength to believe in my attributes. It took me quite a while to accept this agreement, but after many months of repeating it over and over to myself I began to accept this lesson. Now that I have “come into my own” so to say, I give myself an occasional pat on the back for a job well done! Only good can come when you “see the light.”

      The next two occurrences are more dramatic and life changing. I will begin by saying that through a friend, I met a woman who is blessed with the capacity to communicate with angels. My friend has known her for many years and she is well recognized for this capability. She has traveled across the country connecting people with their Guardian Angels. One of the connections she can make is to let your guardian angel “disconnect” your body and mind from chords that have a negative hold on you. My daughter had a relationship with a man that left her heart torn and broken. For 4 1/2 years she could not permit herself be happy or think about her life getting any better without him. No one could get her see that he was selfish and put his own life and career before any relationship. She also was weak from no communication from her father since 2000. I was determined that she sees this woman for a session to help her “disconnect” from these heartbreaks. On one of her visits home we went to see her. To make a long story short, since that disconnect from her stranglehold, she has continued each day to get stronger and more empowered. He has since now tried to revive the relationship and she wants nothing to do with him. He has noticed the change in her and keeps calling. But her Guardian Angels have given her the strength to stand her ground. She has been tested many times and has never failed to show tenacity. I am so grateful she has “seen the light” and will allow her the happiness she deserves!

      continued next post........

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    5. continued from above post.......

      After my daughters positive session I wanted to see if my own negative chords could be severed. For years I had endured nightmares stemming from my first marriage. Occurring almost nightly they left me exhausted and depressed. It seemed as if my ex-husband stalked both my daughter and myself. At one point during the session it felt as though my entire body was floating above the table. I asked her about this afterward and she said it was a common experience. It occurred during the “cleansing” of the body that my Guardian Angels were performing. She also confirmed that my heart was very clouded and suffered from emotional damage. Those chords were disconnected. This was not the only area that was addressed, but the most important to me. I can say in all honesty that since that session my “nightmares” have all but disappeared.

      Tamera, I have to admit that this has taken courage on my part to share this with you, someone I have only connected with online. I have not told too many friends this story considering it may go against their beliefs. I also believe my Guardian Angels have been instrumental in my participation on IG. But I have taken a leap of faith that you don’t find this too far-fetched. I asked my Guardian Angels to help me with the composition of my story. I don’t remember the last time I wrote this much. I will say it makes me genuinely happy to share such a positive experience and I can only hope it helps someone “see their light”.

      Fondly,
      Joanne

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    6. Oh my dear … thank you so much for sharing your story. I know when we experience things different form the expected norm … and then know them to be … our own truths … they can be hard to talk about. I thought long and hard before I wrote about … my truth … and 'seeing the light' … for three nights. But this really did happen to me .. and as much as I tried to dismiss it … by the third night I couldn't. By sharing the story … I am not trying to convince anyone … but rather honoring truthfully what I experienced … just like you are. How could I see your story as far fetched? I applaud your courage my dear … and I am ever so honored for your sharing your story here! It truly is a beautiful thing … that 'technology' can actually be a conduit for such 'soul sharing'.

      much love to you my dear Joanne,
      Tamera

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  7. Beautiful post, Tamera, I read it twice. Very touching and inspiring.

    Annette

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    1. Thank you very much Annette … for visiting and for your words.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  8. Yes, to all the above!I own the same angel………..I have had him now for at least 28 years!We named him SERGIO.
    Looks like we all go through this at some point……….the hardest part for me is letting go!I have been wallowing around in the empty nest for a few years now and am still struggling.But it sounds like your the CREATIVE type……….and can hop right back into what you started!It is important to have a plan…………..keep busy………and keep the creative juices flowing!THE LIGHT WAS A SIGN………..and you got it and ran with it!

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    1. La Contessa … you are right … letting go definitely is a challenge … especially to find the right balance … of still holding on. How old are your children now? I am so intrigued to read you lived in Italy for three years

      Thank you so very much for your visit my dear!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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    2. My SONS are 26 and 24………..I lived in TUSCANY a 20 minute drive to downtown FLORENCE!My husband is ITALIAN……the REAL DEAL!I was thinking you had my info but maybe not from my comments but my Blog site is www.vintagehenhouse.com.Go to the right side bar look for the SEARCH BOX and input THE SHOOT.You will like this I think and please tell me if I'm wrong!You will see me and my SONS in the TUILLERES and the LOUVRE.I took the $$ from the little shop I closed and took them to PARIS for a week!I called it the LAST HOORAH!Before wives, house payments and JOBS get in the way!It was one of the BEST things I have ever done and now I have the photos to remember it all……...

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  9. Truly beautiful words and images, I believe very much that througout our lives we receive signs of guidance , if you are open to receive them.... Your words have truly touched my soul, thankyou for sharing.

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    1. Jill, my dear, thank you. I know of your tragic loss… and can only imagine how deeply your soul has been shaped. It is always a treasure for you to visit. I was truly touched by your pink tribute to your beautiful daughter.

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  10. Oh my. My latest post is all about the pity party that you describe. On one hand, I am completely aware of time zooming by. On the other hand, I am dreaming of a life untethered with motherly worries and day after day of stresses. Your words were exactly what I needed to read and knowing we've been down similar paths...helps me tremendously.

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    1. Sarah I am so happy to hear my words spoke to you. Yes, it is lovely to know we have both travelled similar paths on our mothering roads. Time marching on, certainly does have some bittersweet moments … I can't quite face the idea of my last one leaving home … but I know it is an eventuality to be sure … so I am exploring new roads and new adventures. I have no doubt with your stunning artistry with not only photography, but your culinary expertise as well … you will be find many a new road to explore.

      Thank you so for your visit my dear!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  11. What a beautiful story. It's so true that miracles happen in the *present* when WE are present. Thank you for sharing this.

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    1. Thank you my dear … for your tender words!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  12. Wow! Many thanks for those thoughts Tamera. VERY timely for me right now also re the past & the future - I need to learn to let go.

    Regards
    DeeJay in Whangarei, New Zealand

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    1. Thank you DeeJay for your visit … and your kind words!

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  13. *Sigh*
    Relatable.
    Today.
    Knowing I'll miss these days.
    Motherhood overload.
    Often, very often, the sweetness of that time mixed with you is like lemonade.
    Sweet, sour, quenching a thirst of the soul, the glass contains only so much .. til the time is gone.
    Today.
    More patience required than available.
    A desk will soon replace a Disney afternoon.
    Yes, this time is a gift.
    Often, the present seems to be wrapped in sandpaper.
    I was expecting bows.

    Thank you for your befitting post. I feel as though we just had one of our rainy-day chats. :)

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    1. Ahhh Denise … beautifully written my dear! I love your sandpaper analogy … oh so true! So glad I got to share so many of these years with you dear friend!

      xoxo
      Tamera

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  14. Your post today was exactly a reminder that I needed to read ... life has a way of sending us in the direction that is for our highest good and though it gives us our dreams - it may not look exactly as we had planned ...more often they are even better and greater than we could imagine. Blessings, C. (HHL)

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