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Self Care ... Means Self Acceptance

 After such a week of heart break
and soul searching...

I am back...

back with even a higher regard for

self care
self nurturing
respect of self

 I am very familiar with the need for self care...
eating right
working out
for me it's  also the need for beautiful spaces...
that celebrate the season
embrace family

having a wardrobe
I feel good in and confident wearing
accessories that bring me joy to wear

spending much time outside in nature

spending quality time with family
and friends

 Knowing all of the components of self care 
and self nurturing 
as I do

I didn't realize 
I was still missing some major components

 This week has taught me some other things I need to add to my list
of self care

self acceptance-
accepting  who I actually am today....imperfections and all
accepting my past has shaped who I am today

respect of self-
honoring my own history realizing it has shaped who I am today...

but the most important thing I learned I need to add

self kindness-
glaringly absent from not only my list,
but my life.
In it's place lives a shrill and demanding voice.

I must learn to speak kinder to myself
enjoy my own accomplishments more
stop expecting perfection
respect that I have needs and limitations
give kind validation to myself
instead of demanding it from family members

 because I do know

when I add
 self acceptance
respect of self
self kindness

to my list of self care
not only am I happier

it spreads...

the kinder, less demanding and respectful

I am of myself

the kinder, less demanding and respectful I am of others....

as always dear friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life

thank you again for all the loving comments and emails this week
they all truly touched my soul
I would also be so happy to hear ways in which
you care for yourself....


  1. Thank you for sharing your story Tamara. It is quite inspiring and even if our stories are different, there is much there which can help us all.

  2. Dear Tamera
    I have followed what you have written. I know the pain you describe. I'm not so good at English and afraid to comment emotions in a different language can be misunderstood - but I will say that the way you have walked was not easy but you have come through and thanks for sharing. For me it has always been important to have a room of my own. Women have always had to adapt to the other. And just to expose themselves through clothing and blogging is taking its space back. Thank you.
    I hope you understand me

  3. Beautiful words, as always. Self care, my new mantra. Perfection is not being perfect it is being the best you. Look at an old rugged piece of granite, pocked and rough, different colors and textures and breathtaking in it's roughness and natural state. If we could all only remember that even in our rough state we are beautiful works in progress. taking on dings, dents, weathered and worked each day into something new and lovely, gaining knowledge,growth to be honed into the beings we are put here on earth to be. Thank you for sharing your soul and keep taking care of the lovely, Tamera. xo Barb

  4. You are exactly right. The harder we are on ourselves, the harder we are on those around us, resulting in a dreary cycle of unhappiness. I used to think kindness was a natural attribute, but as I age, I realize that kindness is a skill that takes practice, and plenty of liberal application. Thanks, Tamera, for saying it to beautifully.

  5. Dear Tamera,
    Yes, yes and yes!!! Wonderful. I'm so happy you are doing better.

  6. What a gorgeous articulation of the foundations of self-care. I completely agree that overarching kindness is the way forward.
    Attending to the physical basics - sleep, nourishment, movement - cannot be underestimated. Caring for our bodies' needs allows us to do our clearest thinking and best decision-making, including boundary-setting, seeking out respectful environments and balancing work / play / creativity.
    Thank you for your wisdom, Tamera.

  7. I need to be better at taking care of myself. I'm not good at either of your lists... but, honestly, the first one is harder for me. It's finances and circumstances, true, but it's also me putting other people before myself, so much so that I forgot who I was. If I have no sense of self, then I have no style, no outlets, no motivation or inspiration. I know now, after some pain from neglecting myself, that I can't take care of others if I'm not taking care of myself, so I'm trying to get it back, my 'self.' I'm trying to find those things. Thanks for the reminder of it's importance.