notes from my session...week one...

I have embarked on a personel journey this year.... to find some emotional guidance...to become a better version of myself.   This is what I learned in this weeks session....

I have always been an overly sensitive individual...not only to my own emotions, but to others...I can feel and absorb others emotions....( and believe me,  I'm usually functioning from overwhelm with just my own).

I have spent a lifetime trying to deal with this...without actually being able to give it a name.  Years ago I tried to step back from it by being harsh and standoffish...I all too easily could fall emotionally into another.

I have tried for so very many years to distance myself from it.. by what I call my 'too muches'

my 'too muches'

have included

trying to accomplish too much each day

(and never having it be enough)

too much spending

too much eating

too much time spent with a glass of wine in my hand at the end of the day

but probably the hardest on my family

trying to have too much control...

too much control... 

on how things looked

what they wore 

what they did

I had a hard time letting everyone have pain in their life

so I micro managed...

I tried to control

in a vain attempt to make sure there was no pain...

but I of course I only increased it...

for all of us

But what

  I learned this week from my beloved Dr. Bock

I can show up in peace

and wholeness

and reflect that back

and 

realize I can't fix others pain

but I can show up in

compassion

which acknowledges their pain

and 

says I am capable of helping you

if 

you want my help.

But I do not have to take their pain as my own

I can not fix anyone

but I can help if invited to do so.

Showing up in peace

(I visualize this as showing up in love, God's love )

a grand concept

I know it will take much work

but I am finally at a point in my life

I feel brave enough

to try new ways

because I am old enough

and have tried long enough 

to know that running from this just doesn't work.

nor does attempting to control others

so

My mantra from this weeks session

Show up in peace

my homework assignment this week

 graciousness 

to do daily random acts of kindness

with no expectation of return.

wishing you love and joy 

as you style your life

thanks so for stopping by