The Importance of Self Love

I am writing this today on 

Valentine's Day

The Day to Celebrate Love.

This year I come to this day

with a different perspective.

If you have been reading my blog recently

you know already that 

I have been living through the ramifications of

Marriage Betrayal.

So Valentine's Day feels different to me today.

Not in a bitter

want nothing to do with the day kind of feeling.

Rather with a deeper understanding of the need of

Self Love

first in a relationship.

In the last three months

I have done so much 

Soul Searching

asking myself in so many different ways

How did I ever end up 

after 30 years of marriage

betrayed.

What had happened to the true love that we 

had both been so strongly invested in

within  our relationship.

And as I have said in my very first post about 

the betrayal

I am in no way saying I had in responsibility in the cheating

but 

I am smart enough to know

that I need to take responsibility

in searching for answers

as to how we ever sowed the  path to betryal.

It has been a path so dark since the discovery

I often wondered if I would ever get through.

And

to be completely honest 

there are still days full of  such darkness

but thankfully they move on much more quickly.

And there is something quite profound with the passing of the darkness.

There is often a pristine  light of clarity

that is revealed in it's aftermath.

One of the true realizations I have had

is the utmost importance of 

Self Love.

Without Self Love first in a relationship

I realized

I was always looking to my husband for 

validation on some level.

(and getting so hardened and bitter

when I didn't immediately get the response I was looking for)

When  I should have been looking in 

my own 

Heart and Soul

for validation and worth.

I need to take charge of my own opinion of myself.

Because when we look outside of ourselves

for worth and validation

we give away our own 

power and worth.

And put a huge burden on another.

I have realized through this very brutal process

that for me to be truly bring my best version of myself

to my marriage

I need to first

practice 

Self Love

and

 Self Care.

I have to find my own inner balance.

I must first come from a place of

Love and Grace 

for myself

so that I can love others fully.

I have often written here on my blog about 

Self Care

(you can enter Self Care in the search button on the left side

to bring up the various posts)

To me 

Self Love and Self Care

go hand in hand.

One can't fully exist without the other.

I am highly invested in both these days

as I know

my husband and I have to bring our best selves

back to our marriage 

if we are going to make it through this devastation

onto a deeper, more loving 

version of our marriage.

Everyday we are making our marriage a priority

doing everything we can

to not only repair the damage done

but to build the strongest, most stable foundation

of love and trust going forward.

Self love
is such a crucial 

building block in this process.

So this Valentine's Day

I hope we all realize how very important

Self Love

is in deep and loving relationships.

And the importance in investing in true

Self Care.

Sending out much

Valentine Love 

to each of you

no matter the day!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

and 

Crown Yourself