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The Importance of Self Love

I am writing this today on 
Valentine's Day
The Day to Celebrate Love.

This year I come to this day
with a different perspective.

If you have been reading my blog recently
you know already that 
I have been living through the ramifications of
Marriage Betrayal.
So Valentine's Day feels different to me today.

Not in a bitter
want nothing to do with the day kind of feeling.

Rather with a deeper understanding of the need of
Self Love
first in a relationship.

In the last three months
I have done so much 
Soul Searching
asking myself in so many different ways
How did I ever end up 
after 30 years of marriage
What had happened to the true love that we 
had both been so strongly invested in
within  our relationship.

And as I have said in my very first post about 
the betrayal
I am in no way saying I had in responsibility in the cheating
I am smart enough to know
that I need to take responsibility
in searching for answers
as to how we ever sowed the  path to betryal.

It has been a path so dark since the discovery
I often wondered if I would ever get through.
to be completely honest 
there are still days full of  such darkness
but thankfully they move on much more quickly.

And there is something quite profound with the passing of the darkness.
There is often a pristine  light of clarity
that is revealed in it's aftermath.

One of the true realizations I have had
is the utmost importance of 
Self Love.

Without Self Love first in a relationship
I realized
I was always looking to my husband for 
validation on some level.

(and getting so hardened and bitter
when I didn't immediately get the response I was looking for)

When  I should have been looking in 
my own 
Heart and Soul
for validation and worth.
I need to take charge of my own opinion of myself.

Because when we look outside of ourselves
for worth and validation
we give away our own 
power and worth.

And put a huge burden on another.

I have realized through this very brutal process
that for me to be truly bring my best version of myself
to my marriage
I need to first
Self Love
 Self Care.

I have to find my own inner balance.

I must first come from a place of
Love and Grace 
for myself
so that I can love others fully.

I have often written here on my blog about 
Self Care
(you can enter Self Care in the search button on the left side
to bring up the various posts)

To me 
Self Love and Self Care
go hand in hand.

One can't fully exist without the other.

I am highly invested in both these days
as I know
my husband and I have to bring our best selves
back to our marriage 
if we are going to make it through this devastation
onto a deeper, more loving 
version of our marriage.

Everyday we are making our marriage a priority
doing everything we can
to not only repair the damage done
but to build the strongest, most stable foundation
of love and trust going forward.

Self love
is such a crucial 
building block in this process.

So this Valentine's Day
I hope we all realize how very important
Self Love
is in deep and loving relationships.
And the importance in investing in true
Self Care.

Sending out much
Valentine Love 
to each of you
no matter the day!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life
Crown Yourself


  1. To be honest, I was so intrigued by your visuals it was hard to concentrate on what you said. Just mesmerizing photos. I do know that one must get their validation from within. Always more to learn about ourselves. But those visuals knock me out.

    1. Sandra thank you so much for reading my dear!! I always so enjoy your visits and encouraging words!! xox

  2. The importance of loving oneself is a concept we hear often throughout our lives but comes more naturally to some than others. So many factors go into forming our feelings of self-worth ... from family, early childhood, friends, experiences ... and everyone’s path is different. One thing is certain, it is never, ever too late to learn to love ourselves and to discover that we are enough. As always, you inspire me to be better. Wishing you healing and joy on this day celebrating love. xo

    1. Juliet thank you so much for your wise words my dear! I know true self love has been an ongoing journey with me and it has been the harder times in life that I have really realized the importance of really taking the time to invest in self love and care. And thank you for all of your encouragement, truly appreciated!! xox

  3. Wise words, well stated. Thank you Tamera.

    1. Roxanne thank you so much for visiting and reading!! xox

  4. A fantastic post your words are from the heart of one capable of loving herself through and coming out expanded and capable of loving more. I loved your post, thank you for sharing.

    1. Simmon thank you ever so much darling! I loved your blog writing of a Naked Woman In Paris! Reads like a book in the making! Thank you for visiting here and reading my dear!

  5. You speak so openly that it's so touching, Tamera! It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings "you can't pour from an empty cup". Not that it's always easy to do or remember, but it is important.
    Sending love!!!

    1. Oh Jodie I love that! I am going to definitely remember ... "you can't pour from an empty cup! Thank you so muc for taking the time to share darling!! Big, big hugs to you beautiful!! xox

  6. What a gorgeous, and very romantic outfit Tamera. I love that sweet touch of pink in your cute bag. Happy Valentine's Day, you are doing wonderfully well. xoxo

    1. Aww thank you so much for visiting here darling! I always so appreciate your visits! I hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day with your handsome husband in Brisbane! xox

  7. Dearest Tamara.... my heart goes out to you during this nurturing and growing period. Stay true to yourself and you will see that your healing is like the metamorphosis of a butterfly. My daughter is just coming out of a painful relationship that was deceptive in nature - the man she was dating slyly took advantage of her.... emotional abuse.... she had slowly and unknowingly lost her sense of self. "To thine own self be true".... Shakespear. With love, Lark

  8. You are on such a healthy path to healing! I loved reading your thoughts on Self Love and Self Care. It's a very important lesson that women in particular can benefit from.

  9. Wow! You are so forgiving in so many ways. But the perspective on self-love was very profound (something I had not thought about in that way before).
    As always you look amazing.
    Your recent posts will inspire us all on some level even if we have not been through some of the sadness you have recently.Thank you for sharing your pain and your vulnerabilities; it's not easy to do. xx

  10. God bless you and your husband.

  11. New to your blog, I can relate to so much that you write about in this post. I still have a lot to work to do on myself. Only thing I can do is keep on trying.
    Take care

  12. You are so right! I was the same way...looking for my self worth in validation from my husband and getting mad when that didn't happen! Making another responsible for our happiness is never a good idea! I'm so happy that you are working through this and feeling better! It takes a very long time to really let it go. As always...sending you love and prayers!

  13. You got this Tamara. Some never practice self introspection after the relationship falters or fails. To examine and be honest about what part ‘I played’ takes so much courage. Less dark days in your future and more light. Love your style❣️