Mother Of The Bride … What I Wore … and How It Helped


It's been two months since our daughter's beautiful wedding.
Time enough for new life chapters to settle into place
and 
time to reflect on such a grand Life Moment.


I will admit
some parts of the wedding were really hard for me.

And I have never  in my life
been more grateful for a well chosen outfit!

On the wedding day my husband, oldest son and I
whirled around the venue
from the very moment we were able to get in
setting up all of the installations we had designed.
I am really great at that busy work
when I'm nervous!
And we couldn't have been happier
how all the  wedding planning came together!


It was when it was time to go back to the hotel to change
I felt like I was going to loose it
as in
faint or simply not be able to show up.

I had hard, painful nerves building for at least a week before the wedding
wondering if this whole idea 
of 'giving away' my beloved daughter
to what felt like to another family
with a whole different name
was something I could really do.


Looking back now
most of my dread was fear based.
How would Ellis's marriage change our relationship.
What would that change feel like.

But I can say  now nothing  much has changed really
(other that that whole name thing).

We are still as close
and
now she really is a full grown adult
and
I couldn't be more proud of her!

And the flip side of 'giving away our daughter'
is now we have gained a most wonderful son!
I couldn't be more proud of Elliot
and
the man of integrity he truly is through and through.


 I am so proud of myself for not loosing it
at all during the wedding.
Because
boy there were some moments I sure could have.


But I was able to pull myself together
and 
be the loving family matriarch 
that I had always wanted to be.

And I owe so much to the outfit I had chosen.

Slater had even told me
after the set up
when fear was setting in …
"to go change … I'd feel better".
Wise young man … who knows me well.

I did change
and 
I could feel
personal power flow back into my heart.

It felt almost magical.
Like putting on 'these' clothes and crown
enabled me to
reach deeper into my soul
and
pull out
all the love, strength and confidence
that true loving intention can summon.


Because I wanted to show up as the very best version
of myself … not just for myself
but for my entire family
friends
and 
every single person who took the time out of their life
to celebrate
the coming together as a new family
of 
Ellis and Elliot.


And to be quite honest
nothing helped me pull it together 
like 
Crowning Myself.

Sometimes we must dig deep inside
to pull out our very best self
especially in the midst of fear and nerves.


I will always remember
when my makeup was finished
and
everyone had left the room

I took a step back
and 
looked into the full length mirror at my own reflection
and 
after moments  earlier in the day spent in what felt like paralyzing fear
or 
the cliffs of hysterics

I took a deep breath
and 
realized 
I got this!


All my pieces that I had chosen 
came together
in a way that felt 
halfway like magical armor
and 
the other half  like Cinderella at the ball.

I had agonized over what I would actually wear as 
Mother of the Bride
for almost a year.

When the moment actually came
it was all worth it!
My pieces empowered me
to be
the version of myself I wanted to be.



My Mother of the Bride Ensemble
that day
started with great foundation choices!

Underpinnings
that truly offered support
both literally and figuratively!

My waist cincher was a perfect physical reminder
to stand up tall and strong!


The ball skirt slip
added just the amount of fullness and flow when walking
making each step feel important.


Pockets in a ball skirt were a must for me.
There is something about having pockets
when I'm nervous that feels calming.

Pockets also were the perfect place to keep my phone
which I used all the time to capture
personal moments
I wanted to have forever.


When I was researching 
Mother Of The Bride
I couldn't find the advice I was looking for.

Like how 
if your having a tough time
with this whole life transition
of marrying off your daughter
do you not only get through the day well
but summon up
all the love in your heart
you want to bring to the occasion.


For me
my clothes and accessories
helped immensely.

I chose them with not only the occasion in mind
but 
with respect for self as well.

So much of being Mother Of The Bride
is all about
being there for your girl.

And
 I have found the very best way 
to be there for others 
is to make sure you first 
take great care of yourself.


The pieces that I wore
were a great step in the process.

I was also so very lucky to have my son by my side 
the entire day
as well as friends who had come to support me
supporting my girl.

It really does take a village!
One with beautiful ripple effects!


The whole wedding ended up going so fast
just like I had heard it would.

I was so grateful 
to have been given great advice before hand
by other
Mother Of The Brides


To make sure to take time
to just take in the moments …


and 
boy did I.

And it was our fantastic photographer Elyse
from
who captured moments 
that will live in my heart forever!

Elyse also submitted Ellis and Elliot's wedding to
the ever popular wedding blog

and 
I couldn't be more excited to announce
they will be publishing our wedding
on their site in the middle of August!!

I remember when Ellis and I were just beginning
the wedding planning
being published in
Green Wedding Shoes
 was a distant dream of ours!
And now it's here!

It was such a joy to me
to help
 Ellis' wedding style vision come to life!
I couldn't be more proud for it to be shared on such a fantastic platform!


Now that the wedding is firmly behind us
my husband and I
have settled  most lovely into our empty nest
and 
new lifestyle.

If you are a regular reader of my blog
you know that transition to empty nest
has been one I have struggled with
grieving as each of my children 
have moved onto lives of their own.
(If you want to read more of the journey
to the wedding day
all of the links are under Ellis' Wedding
on side bar of my blog).

But now
 I finally feel I have crossed to this new side 
and chapter
and 
can see the beauty and promise
not only for today
but for new and beautiful  chapters on the horizon.


I will always be grateful for my Mother of the Bride clothes
and
how they enabled me 
to love on all the people in my life
at the wedding
 in such a grand  life moments.

Trust me
taking the time and opportunity to 
'Crown Yourself'
can have beautiful rippling effects
and 
sometimes when you need it most!


I bought my dress from Beholden
which is Anthropologie's Wedding Brand.
A site we visited and ordered from often
planning the wedding.

I paired it with my vintage lace Yves Saint Laurant blouse
I sewed from a pattern over thirty years ago.
For some reason having a piece that was truly mine
that I had such a personal history with was calming
and
had me feeling
like me
in a role that was a new!

I added a belt from Anthropologie
and 
finished off my ensemble with a
velvet flower crown
of my own design.

Not only did my outfit make me feel confident and happy
it complimented my daughter's beautiful Vera Wang dress
and 
the venue itself.


And it even was a blast on the dance floor!


Now that I am on the been there done that side of being

Mother Of The Bride

My biggest advice on what to wear is to
find something that makes you 
feel good
speaks to your soul
and 
enables you to tap into your very best self
so that you may pour love onto all of those around you
on that big day
that celebrates Love.

And
Crown Yourself

It doesn't even have to be a literal crown
but have something that reminds you of
all you have done
enabling your beloved daughter
to join her life with her beloved
in a Grand Life Moment.

As mothers
we all know just how much love we
pour into our children.
If anything in life
ever deserved
A Crown
this is it!


As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life













27 comments:

  1. You look SO gorgeous here, Tamera, as does your entire family! I agree that sometimes what we wear can make us feel powerful and remind us of our own strength. What a lovely post, and inspiring way to start the week!

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    1. Aww thank you ever so much beautiful! Thank you so much for visiting too! I so enjoyed your stylish wardrobe picks for your last trip to Paris! So well done darling!! xox

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  2. Such a lovely, heartfelt post. Gorgeous--all of you! Those heeled shoes--oh my goodness--so fabulous!

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    1. Thank you so Marla! And the heeled shoes … were actually comfortable! Thanks for visiting my dear! xox

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  3. You, your whole family and the venue look as if it should be in Vogue, Vanity Fair or Martha Stewart Magazines....absolutely stunning; you should feel great for a job well done!

    You're fortunate that you can dress in beautiful layers and textures. I can only dress in sleeveless dresses. One, because I'm so short and simple with stunning accessories, is the way to go for me; and two, I perspire too much, especially because I love to dance at weddings!

    Again, Tamera - simply GORGEOUS!

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    1. Aww thank you ever so much dearest Catherine for your sweet words … always such a gift from your chic and stylish self! Thanks so much for visiting darling! xox

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  4. A genuine heartfelt post that I've for one appreciate. Your experiences and wisdom are invaluable for this first time MOB. I think my first move is to get rid of my Hanes undergarments before the big day!!! Despicable isn't it..ack! Lovely photos and a day to never forget for all of us that were blessed to have been there. No one will make a more beautiful mother of the bride than you. XOX

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    1. Thank you so much my dear … for not only your kind words … but for being there on that ever special day! It meant the world to me!

      And yes, most definitely you must change out your Hanes … for some more much better! A woman of your style and beauty …will appreciate the upgrade … trust me! When I got new under pinnings for the wedding … I upgraded all my lingerie and bras, ect. at the time. I was shocked how much better it made me not just feel … but look! Hail to the 'uplifting power' of a well filling bra!

      You know I'm always here if you need any more MOB advice darling! xox

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  5. Amazing photos of an amazing wedding with amazing dresses. And I am totally in love with those heels. They speak to my soul/sole! Can I ask where they're from?

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    1. My heels are from London's Poetic Licence. I bought them several/many years back at Macy's. After shopping for a month for a perfect for my outfit shoe … I realized I already owned the right pair! Thanks for visiting my dear! xox

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  6. My goodness, Dear Tamera...this is a quote that could sum up the last several years of your life...
    "I could feel personal power flow back into my heart." I know that you will flourish now, my dear! I've felt your struggles and pain, as you've shared your heart so often in your blog, and prayed for you to keep going, keep searching, keep seeking. I know that you are on firm ground now! This particular quote is the very essence of your journey. It could be the essence of a book...if your feel prompted in that direction. Your story and your heart would be so beneficial to us all...if you wanted to share in a platform such as that. So proud of you here in Texas!!!
    Much love, Shannon XO

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    1. Oh my goodness dear Shannon … thank you for your beautiful gift of words … they truly touch my heart and soul! It is soulful words of encouragement like yours … that keep me sharing my heart. Thank you ever so much for being a regular reader my dear! Sending you huge hugs of appreciation! xox

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  7. This is all just lovely and I am so happy for you!

    My computer wouldn't let me comment on your recent garden post but I adored them too- your home and garden are stunning.

    Am very happy that you are so happy.

    My son is 5 and I cannot imagine how it would feel to watch him get married.

    Thanks for sharing x

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    1. So wonderful for you to stop by my dear! I am so glad to hear you enjoyed the garden post! Your asking for more garden posts … was just the prompt I needed to finish one … so thank you very much gorgeous!!

      I so love seeing pictures of your beautiful boy … and the love you surround him with! Your family love story always warms my heart! Thanks ever so much for your lovely visit here my dear! xox

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  8. Everything about the wedding is absolutely beautiful, and congratulations on a perfect day. I love both pairs of shoes, and what a good idea that is! Very inspirational as we prepare for our son's wedding in the near future, thank you, Tamera. x

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    1. First big congrats on your son's upcoming wedding my dear! How exciting!!

      Yes, I would definitely recommend a flat shoe also for the grand event. I actually even had a third pair, it was a small kitten heel … in case the full heel ended up to be too uncomfortable. I think I was running on adrenalin most of the time … I didn't even feel my feet … so the two pairs ended up fine.

      Sending you big hugs darling! Thanks so for your regular visits my dear! xox

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  9. So amazingly beautiful!! The story of your thoughts and feelings throughout the wedding and the whole process! I think hearing your thoughts progress helps us all to jump through those hoops that life sends us. There is always more room for us to let our hearts grow. Weddings seem to bring that quickly into focus.XXX Jeane

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    1. Jeane thank you very much for your visit my dear … and your sweet gift of beautiful , thoughtful words! My heart truly appreciates them!! xox

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  10. Tamera this was so beautiful. You looked radiant and I could so relate to the emotional 'nerves' that you were feeling leading up to that momentous day. Your descriptions are so vivid and honest and I feel a kinship with you and your sensitive side. I can imagine how emotional I would be when my boys finally marry. What a special day with the whole family--all your kids-- together. I'm so happy the way things have turned out with your son.
    hugs,
    Leslie

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  11. Tamara, thank you for sharing this breathtakingly beautiful day. You look absolutely stunning, as does your beautiful daughter. Almost too beautiful a post for words...and I have to say that I went from having two wonderful sons to having two wonderful sons and two wonderful daughters - the wives of my boys. And now, I have four gorgeous grandchildren so I tell people my husband and I have eight children! I'm very blessed. xx

    https://fabulousageing.blogspot.com.au/

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  12. Gorgeous!! Looks like it was a beautiful wedding!

    xx, Elise
    www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

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  13. That is a lovely wedding! I have never seen such a gorgeous mother of the bride look. Your daughter also is beautiful!

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  14. So beautiful both the pictures and the sentiments. Well done!

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  15. Tamera... It's been a few years since I've been in the style blogging world, but today I was thinking of you and discovered this post about your daughter's wedding. After all this time, we are still connected; your words are exactly what I needed to read as my oldest daughter is getting married in September. My feelings about letting her go and watching another family embrace her as their own left me feeling a bit strange and fearful. I almost felt like I didn't have the right to those feelings of fear. It's difficult nonetheless even though I'm close to my daughter. She's starting a new forever chapter in her life and I'll be sobbing along the way. It's a combo of happy, sad, joyful and other feelings I can't seem to articulate now. I'm so glad I came to your blog today!!! There are no coincidences in life. Remember when I found you years ago? I felt a soul connection then, like I do now. You look beautiful as always, that's an amazing dress. Love you. - Gabriala Brown

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  16. Tamera I Been for 7 year on blogging land but today I found your lovely blog your daughter wedding was So beautiful you look stunning as does your daughter!
    Congratulations on all did for this beautiful momen in your life
    Blessing
    Isora

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