As a highly sensitive empath
when I get really sad
I tend to feel devastated.
But theses days
one of the many gifts of aging
is that I now know better how to
care for myself during these times
which also means I can bounce back quicker.
Here are my top tips for
self care during difficult times.
Give Yourself Grace - During difficult times I put parenthesis on my life. That is to say, I don't expect myself to perform on my usual level and I definitely don't make any of life's big decisions. I know that self kindness is paramount. So is a gentle internal voice that is soothing and nurturing. I have realized that during difficult times. if I use the same love and guidance, that I would offer my own children, during challenging times … I too, become calmer and feel safer … and realize … I won't always feel like this.
Don't Overindulge - I must admit this one took me some time to realize. Often, when we have a searing hole in our heart … it's easy to believe that the pain can be eased by something form outside of ourselves … whether it be food or drink … or buying something extravagant to ease the pain. Trust me … other than a momentary ease … none of it works! In fact true overindulgence makes things so much worse … because then self recrimination and self loathing are kicked into what was originally just sadness and grief.
Buy Yourself Flowers - Even if money is tight and you can only afford one flower … buy one. Flowers will remind you … that you are worth investing in. They will remind you there is still beauty in the world. And most of all, they will remind you … that just like flowers don't last forever … neither will this pain.
Get Organized - For me, getting my house in order (literally) … translates to a feeling of getting my life in order … of feeling like I still have control of aspects of my life. I have only recently realized, every time one of my children left the nest … I had spent much time before hand purging belongings, cutting back my gardens … in preparation for life's newest transitions. Even a small step like cleaning out a drawer … can feel empowering … between the purging and the created order … in what otherwise feels chaotic.
Go Outside - Nature has great healing properties and offers an opportunity to connect with a higher power. . I have a favorite beach that I walk … where I feel truly connected and realize there is more to life than what I can see at the moment. Sometimes it just it feels good to know that I can still put one foot in front of the other … in the midst of natural beauty.
Wear Red Lipstick - or whatever your version of this is. It can be remarkable sometimes … if we dress our selves better … even during hard times … there comes with this a feeling of control … that we can still have effect upon our life and surroundings.
Meet Up With Friends - I don't think we are meant to do life on our own … but this one took me time to realize it's importance. I have been the sort in the past to almost go underground in avoiding friends when I am feeling broken. But I now realize how unhealthy that is … especially during hard times. For me choosing not to see friends …only amplified the sadness by loneliness. Life is hard on us all at times … it takes true friends to navigate the troubled waters with,
Make A Gratitude List - I have an obsessive mind by nature … so when I am feeling devastated it is imperative for me to make gratitude lists … so as not to over connect with the present painful situation. I try to normally make a weekly list, but when I am hurting … I make daily lists …and boy does it ever help! It takes my mind out of the darkness … it calms me, as I realize …'peaks and valleys my dear' … and 'it won't always be like this'. It reminds me once again … there is so much beauty in the world.
Do Good For Others - I have saved my best tip for last! This one has never ever failed to ease the pain … and make me feel better … even in my darkest days. It is almost a dark spell breaker. Just the sheer thought process of … even though I know I am in pain … 'What can I do today … to help someone else '… is a reminder … we are all connected … and sometimes it is with a broken heart … we can hear the needs of others more clearly.
Doing good for others doesn't even have to be a big gesture … it can be as simple as smiling at someone, going out of your way to offer a sincere loving compliment. Leaving a kind comment on any of the many social media platforms. Letting friends know you care. Sending out a card in the mail Leaving flowers on the doorstep of someone you know can use some cheer in their life.
We are all connected in this life… and kindness not only for others, but ourselves as well ... really does matter … in good times … and especially in bad.
As always my friends
I wish you love and joy
as you style your life