A Holiday Coach


Well the holiday season is upon us

Advertisements all  extoll the expectations of perfect times with families

Stores are  stocked to the brim selling the dreams of cozy perfect moments

 even all of our blogs are full of 

warm words
pretty DIY's 
and 
 perfect party outfits...

but
 nobody talks about

how hard this season can sometimes  be

and
for as many different reasons
as we are each different


How in my case  years worth of work
trying to make  all my family relationships loving and successful


feel like they can be toppled with the mix
of holiday togetherness and expectation.

All set for the possibility of coming  unraveled
I can feel all my practice 
of gratitude and thankfulness
exploding in what may or not be irrational anger
under the strain.
(Not really what I'm looking for this holiday season.)

That's why I'm starting my holiday season
now that my Thanksgiving table is set beautifully
a week early
and
 I know what pretty outfit I will wear
and
 I already have my Christmas carols playing


with a visit tomorrow to see my 
therapist

yep.

This year I want a real 
holiday coach
I say!


A professional who will tell me
when the craziness is mine

and
 just as importantly tell me

when  the craziness  has Nothing to do with me.

I want a buffer

a game plan

a line in the sand

I want to know how much to give out of love
and
 where to draw the proverbial line in the sand.
to protect my heart and self worth.


I want a holiday season full of cherished moments
and
 beautiful memories
and
to spend it absolutely
loving on my wonderful family.


I just know 
I need a great coach
to make it a reality.



as always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life




linking up with

Wow Us Wednesdays



26 comments:

  1. Oh that's so smart! The holidays seem to bring a level of expectation that can feel impossible to meet. Everyone is seeing through their own lenses, and things can get crazy. You're taking care of yourself in the best possible way, kudos to you!!

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    1. Thank you so much! I realize this year adding some self care to my holiday to do list ... will benefit us all!

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  2. This Thanksgiving could be filled with great sadness for me. We now have to "share" our daughter with the family she has married into. Our son will spend time with his girlfriend and her family. My parents are both now gone and my husbands family thousands of miles away. So we have decided to open up our home to a couple we don't know well. I have anxiety, my table will be no elegant enough, my meal not tasty enough, my conversation not stimulating enough. When I let my mind wander, it goes there, not enough. Thank you for reminding all your readers that things need not be perfect to be enough! I have a home to share, a meal to share, my time to share. It is enough. And for that I am Thankful! Thankful for your words, Tamera, so thankful for your words. xoxox B

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    1. Dear Barb ... your sharing words are always a gift to my soul. Yes, the holidays seem to shine a bright light on our transitioning lives... and we must prepare ourselves to acknowledge the changes ... and celebrate the beauty to be found. I am so very proud of you ... opening up your home to new friends this year ... after all you have been through. You my dear, are a Thanksgiving inspiration ... opening up your home and heart to celebrate the season with new friends ...even while your heart is tender from the recent loss of you Dad. Anybody will be blessed to sit at your table my dear ... for you radiate all what this season of Thanksgiving is. You are always such a blessing in my life.

      xoxo

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    2. Hugs. There is just something about you... you are a just such a good person. I remember a post when you spoke of being " a big girl" while growing up and that made you uncomfortable. I think God gave you this glorious tall frame because you had such a large, kind and giving spirit, He needed a canvas tall enough to contain it. Your body needed to house something so your light could shine. Your incredible, outside beauty cannot even be compared to the beauty that radiates from your soul! I think that is what makes you so glamour-filled and shiny bright, so stylish, so stunning, it is your soul, you kind and generous soul! What a blessing you are with your words, your light and your gentle spirit. Be good to yourself, as good as you are to others. xoxo

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  3. You are so wise, Tamera. You now understand where you need a support system. It is kind of sad how many years we go through in our youth, before we learn where the lines need to be drawn. But, then, do not let ANYONE to cause you to feel bad about drawing the lines...there are always those who want to judge and create guilt. Don't allow it...stand firm and protect your joy and your heart. I love this time of year so much, I will not let anyone rob it from me. You go girl!

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    1. Pam thank you so for your encouraging words. Yes, I have realized recently that I do need a support system, outside the family ... and by doing so, my relationships within, have truly changed for the better. I see paying for a therapist, the same as paying to have my hair done, some things need professional attention to achieve more beautiful results.

      Thank you taking the time to leave such an encouraging comment ... wishing the vry best this season has to offer!

      xoxo

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  4. Loved the way your wrote this (with all the spacings) very poetic & beautiful. Nice little snapshots too alongside the words. My mother was a psychotherapist/ life coach & has a background in hypnosis too so I know all about this. She now actually has a relaxation CD & technique which you may be interested in. Here's her FB Page https://www.facebook.com/CassandraStruthersCET
    India xx

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    1. Beautiful India ... thank you for the kind compliments! Thank you for mentioning your mother's work (I am an absolute fan of her style!!). I have seen her site before, and your mention is just exactly the push I needed to order her CD! I have just added it to my list to order!

      I so love your blog and have been there often recently. Last year, this time, Jeff and I were in Scotland, and fell in love with your country. Visiting your enchanting blog, is always a such a trip back. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life.

      I must admit though ... it was the amazing style you and your mother share, that reeled me right into your blog, the Scottish angle a beautiful bonus!

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  5. Beautiful and wise, my friend. The holidays hold such hope for us all...I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. We all need to heed your advice:-)
    xoJennifer

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    1. Thank you dear Jennifer! Just knowing I have a 'professional' in my corner ... is calming for me. I am now refusing to keep falling down the rabbit holes in my lie.

      Hope your packing up your second home is getting easier! I have sure enjoyed seeing your 'fashion finds' on instagram :))

      xoxox

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  6. Wishing you a joyful holiday season!

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  7. It is so rare to see you with your hair down and no glasses on. You are so beautiful.

    Your beauty on your outside matches perfectly with your heart.

    I think it is those of us that have the highest expectations for ourselves that are more likely to become unhappy, angry or frustrated when reality doesn't live up to our impossible ideals for the holidays. In reality nothing is picture perfect and learning to accept our own limitations as well as those we love is where true grace can be found.

    Acceptance is the hardest thing to give but the easiest to receive.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. Thank you Suzanne for your kind words.

      You are quite right about those of us with high expectations for ourselves, often ending up unhappy, I am trying to learn to temper my own. Just this morning I edited my decorating list, deciding to only do the decorating ... that I couldn't wait to see ... taking off all of the 'this would be perfect' . I only want to do decorating and projects that leave me filled with joy ... like my bedroom Christmas tree that is already up! Every time I see it I am just tickled inside with joy and happiness!

      Wise words my dear on acceptance ... very wise indeed! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments.

      xoxo

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  8. I have many blog posts come into my e-mail. Some day that is a goal of mine to have my own blog to extend to whoever wants to listen to the lessons from my life. I often find myself too busy to read everything... But I always take the time to read your posts, and I am always glad that I do. Whatever I am needing at that specific moment is right there!! Amazing and Thank you!

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    1. Thank you so very much for your kind words ... they truly touch my soul!

      If you are thinking about having a blog ... I would absolutely recommend doing so ... mine has truly changed my life! I think we all have a story ... and so much we can learn by sharing. Make sure you let me know if you start one!

      xoxo

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  9. The honesty of of your words and the power in which you share them is so very touching. All I can say is: You. Go. Girlfriend. I have no doubt your holiday season will be one to cherish, you have so much love in your heart for your family.
    I must add, I'm slightly in awe (no, I'm in total amazement) that you are all ready for Thanskgiving and have that beautiful sanctuary of yours all done up for the holidays. Oh, I have a lot of work to do this next week.

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    1. My dear, dear Trina ... you are the sweetest ... always!!

      I am feeling good about the upcoming holidays ... for me having a plan of tempered action ... and an ability to keep my eye on the bigger picture ... of really wanting special moments .. will make a joyous season a reality.

      I can't wait to see what YOU do for the holidays ... if your tea parties are any indication! I am sure you are counting the days until your gorgeous daughter returns home ... with Molly! What a joyous season for you all!

      Still missing you dear friend!!

      xoxox

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  10. How wonderful to read such realness in the blog world. You are a breath of fresh air my friend. And you are such a gifted writer Tamera, I absolutely loved the way you described your struggles during the holiday season ..because they are struggles we all have. A holiday coach. How perfect! Me? I need a Moving coach :)

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    1. Leslie, thank you so very much for kind and encouraging words ... they truly mean the world to me!

      Your house projects are looking fabulous! You are such a creative with the ambition to see your visions into reality! I can only imagine the added holiday emotionalism involved, in preparing your house for sale during the holidays. Big moves really could be improved with a Moving coach :))

      Let me know when you are down here, in the area, I would love to meet up with you. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a very rewarding friendship.

      xoxo

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  11. A strategy for the holidays is a brilliant idea. And your Thanksgiving table is already set! I had better get cracking. I might have to step up my yoga practice! And you are gorgeous, as always!

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  12. Your post was exactly what I needed to read. The holidays have become a time of doing what "everyone" else wants and not really my desire of keeping it simple. A holiday coach - sounds brilliant idea. Hugs, C.
    P.S. Susan is as lovely in person as she comes across on her blog (actually more lovely) - I'm so blessed to be able to call her friend now- and Miss Ava is even cuter and more adorable. xo

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  13. Good morning Tamera~I am just catching up this morning and am so glad I caught this post. I have written about what I call this 'bittersweet season' so I definitely understand how you are feeling. You described it beautifully and I love your touch of humor too. For me, the holidays have included 2 miscarriages and the loss of my dad during a devastating and swift cancer battle. I get it my friend. I heard a Christmas carol the other day that made me cry. As we carry forward...with this journey into the bittersweet season I stand with you. Coaching is always a good thing. Your decor is fabulous by the way love.
    xx, Heather

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