~ I never knew her name.... ~

 I never knew her name...
but I have watched her children grow from littles to high school...
I have seen them put up their Christmas decorations...
I have seen them come down.
I have passed her often walking her dog...
I have commented to her how much I appreciate her waterfall...
it's soothing sound reaching out into the neighborhood.
I have driven daily past her little suburban house...
on the way to mine.

 Seeing her in her daily routine...
was a part of mine.
We were the same mamma bears looking after our own...
day in and day out...
always here...
taking care.

 I never even knew anything was wrong...
until... getting the mail I was told by another in disbelief...
she had just died...
 of cancer...

 She is no longer here...
and I didn't even know her name...
even though she was a part of my everyday...
I still think I see her...
Her house looks just the same...
it reminds me of after my sister died..
how the same places and houses and rooms still stood...
even though I and my family would never ever be the same...
as I am sure now
 it is for her precious ones she left behind...

 So it is realization and remembrance of a  neighbor I never even knew...
that I realize during my birthday time...
how blessed I am to still be here with my precious ones...
I will teach myself to be grateful to age...and find it's beauty....

But oh so more importantly...
I realize on this side of 50...
now is my time to sow the seeds of what I want to leave behind...

It is actually a wonderous time of life...
one where there becomes a clarity between what is of importance...
and what is just static.

I have firmly come to terms with my own mortality...
I know I won't be here forever.
I know  it is up to me each day... to find  meaning...to treasure the blessed in the ordinary...
To see each day as an opportunity to leave behind a legacy of love...
in those I so fiercely do.
to use my gifts ... in the best way possible...

so even...
when people don't know my name
I know
I will live in the hearts of those who do.

as always dear friends

I wish you much love and joy
as you love those in your life





16 comments:

  1. This is just beautiful, Tamera. What a sweet and yet bittersweet post. It's amazing how we can be so close in proximity to people without really knowing them. I don't know the names of most of my own neighbors, and yet they are a part of my daily life as I drive by and wave. I guess I just take their presence for granted. How jolting to find out the news. What a reminder of our own mortality. I suppose that isn't such a bad thing to be reminded of. I love your thoughts on it, though. You are a treasure. xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. So sad. I see a young man about 20 in a wheelchair every morning struggling to wheel up the hill. And in the afternoon the other way is even steeper. He used to have a motorized chair and I wonder where it went and if he wishes he still had it and what we as a community can do for this young man. My son said he saw a jogger pushing the young man up the hill the other day. I neve know if it's okay to help and if that help will be welcomed or shunned. I guess it's time to stop and ask.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Jana-I read your comment and it touched me. I am a school psychologist and one of my assignments is for adult students with disabilities. In CA students from age 18-22 can receive Special Education. These programs provide some fantastic life skills, transition services and supports for being more independent adults. This young man may or may not be in such a program but I hope he knows about all of the resources. Each county also has a Regional Center which can supply support and resources for life. Sadly, funding is being reduced in many areas but there are still good options. My hope is that anyone who has needs is connected to the resources. I would say trust your instinct and go ahead and ask him. You may just have an enriching moment ahead.
      :) Heather

      Delete
  3. Such a heartbreaking reminder that this fast paced society in which we live isolates us more than ever from those around us. We text but don't talk. We Facebook but never meet face to face. We have an illusion of intimacy but it is only that...an illusion. Thank you for the poignant reminder to reach out to those around us, for we never know how much time either of us truly has.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How very sad for your neighbour and her family. And what a timely reminder not to take those around us for granted, or our own health for that matter. It's a great way to deal with aging, isn't it, to consider the alternative? Your beautiful photographs are the perfect accompaniment to a thoughtful, thought-provoking post. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. How often I take things for granted. It's a mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a beautiful, poignant post reminding us to care for those around us, Tamera. I know that in my busyness I do not take time for the people around my small world. You have just opened my heart and reminded me I need to take that time. This is such a special way to pay tribute to this woman.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have chills. Your words once again have moved me, stirred up my soul. Thank you dear, Tamera. Our physical paths will most likely never cross, but I am so grateful that they have crossed because of your blog. You are a gift. Thank you for the reminder to be thankful, to be changed by those everyday occurrences and to be loving in not only in word and deed but in our thoughts of others.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a lovely tribute and post, Tamera. You sentiment is right on and it's such a reminder to trust our gut instinct, reach out, say hello, offer help if needed, make a connection as these are life enriching moments. I will add that this disease is taking so many, so young and feels like an epidemic. We lost my dad to cancer four years ago following a short but painful battle of just 19 days. I feel your pain in the loss of your sister. Your words are haunting...the rooms, the house is the same but family and friends and hearts are forever changed.
    Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
    xx, Heather

    ReplyDelete
  9. We speak the same inner language, don't we? So much is bitter-sweet, but totally precious. You are lovely. Your legacy is being created, in all it's beauty. Have a wonderful week.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes. my dear Jean i truly believe we do. After reading your birthday post... i thought to myself... it sounds as if I would have written the same.
    Happy Birthday to you my gorgeous friend!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh this is so good... such good reminders to know the people around us and to remember that our time is short. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete