Self Care During the Holidays

As the holidays  are now in full swing

I wanted to take a break today from
Holiday Wear
and
Decorated Spaces.

I wanted to write about the importance of

Self Care During the Holidays.

As joyous and beautiful as the holidays can be
for many of us
they can also be filled with
Emotional Mind Fields.

As with  any other time in the year

taking good care of ourselves

insures we will have more to give to those we love.

Self Care
during the holidays is  an especially important
component to loving holidays.

By this time in my life

I have lived through all types of Christmases 

from much anticipated magical Christmas's growing up

to an extremely painful Christmas with the death of my sister two weeks before.

Christmases after that have always been a blend of emotions.

We have also had so very many Christmas's 

full of magic and wonder as our three children grew up!

We have recently had three past Christmases

missing one of our children during his years of chosen estrangement.

During those years I learned to truly focus 

on the beauty of people who chose to be there.

I realized one can still find beauty in the world 

even with a hole in your heart.

I only write this

to acknowledge

sometimes Christmas comes with a full serving of real life along the way.

But when we take care of ourselves

to the best of our ability

we will always have more grace

not only for others

but just as importantly ourselves.

This year with our son back for the holidays
and
our family trying to rebalance into new ways

I realize as much as ever the importance of 

Self Care During the Holidays.

 I will be practicing self care
to be  able to most effectively love on my family and friends.

After a successful Thanksgiving family weekend

I wanted to share some of the things that worked for me

and

remind myself

to take good care once again.

Let Go Of Expectations Of Perfect

This one I have definitely been working on for years.

Now I know to do my best

and 

then let it go.

As much as I like things to look good

I now know to focus on the moments.

For me these days
it is also important to let go of expectations of others.
We all come to the holidays
stepping out of where we are in our souls this year.
None of us are perfect.
and
 all of us are doing the best we can at the time
with what we have  and know
at this time.

Bringing Grace to the holidays
 goes far for everyone
ourselves included.

Let Go Of Comparison

it is always the thief of joy

Right off you might think I mean 

comparing your holidays to other peoples

which is destructive enough for obvious reasons.

But there is another Holiday comparison

that can be equally joy stealing.

Comparing this holiday right now

to ones gone by.

I have found as hard as it is sometimes

in life 

and
especially during the holidays

it is so important  to focus on the good that is here right now.
Not to hold  this year up for comparison and judgements
of years gone by.

We only truly have today
right now
this year.

Respect Yourself

I think self respect is always important
but like many of these ideas
even more so during the holidays.

We need to respect how much we can give.
Whether it be time or money.

Over giving leads to resentment.
Know your boundaries.

That line that crosses from joyful loving giving
into the abysm of resentful duty.

I know during the long Thanksgiving weekend
I remembered that I  personally needed
 alone downtime to rest and recharge.
Respecting that about my personal self
meant I could come back down
refreshed with more to give
and 
really enjoy the company of my family.

Trying to do too much
is an easy way to loose Holiday joy.

Make A List Of Holiday Objectives

I realized recently to figure out what it is I wanted the outcome of the
family weekend to be.

For me I want my children, parents and brother to return 

to a place they feel

loved

honored 

and 

respected.

For me I demonstrate this by having

guest rooms for my children 

that are cozy and well appointed.

For me

I show love by beautifying spaces.

Whether it be a beautiful room, space or table.

These objectives

might seem obvious enough

but for me to have the conversation with myself

meant I could keep my focus on what was important.
And
not to go off the rails getting annoyed with the less important aspects.

I also keep tight present buying lists.
It's all too easy to be out shopping
and
be swept away in the moment
thinking that perfect gift can buy someone happiness.
It doesn't.

Remember self respect of time and money.

Take Care Of Yourself Inside and Out

I know it's a busy time of year
but taking the time to make good nutrition
a priority
means you will have more energy for the holidays.

I'm not saying to get crazy about what you eat
just remember to get some good stuff in!

I am pretty happy with myself 

when I do this daily.

It's not fun

but after taking the time for this one

I am a lot more conscious the whole day of what I'm putting in my body.

Holiday Wardrobe

I'm not talking about fancy fashion here.

I'm talking about taking the time before the festivities begin

to line up outfits

that you will feel your best in.

Outfits that make your heart happy to wear.

Being in charge of family holidays

means you want to feel your best

in order to bring your best.

For me clothes help.

Just like packing for a trip

I like to think through the events of the weekend

and 

plan outfits that I know I feel comfortable in

and 

enjoy wearing.

In my younger years

I missed this simple concept

only to find self scrambling before

every event 

to pull something together to wear.

Trust me

this was not emotionally pretty

for me

or the ripple effect that ensued.

Plan what you want to wear

ahead of the need.

Cherish The Small Moments

To me this is what 

Self Care During The Holidays

is all about.

Self Care which leaves you whole and grounded

so you can be truly present

 in the small moments 

that are really can be the big spectacular

joyful moments

we really are searching for during the holidays.

One  of my favorite moments from this last Thanksgiving was  just that.

Sitting at South Coast Repetory watching the  Christmas Carol

with my family like we have done for so many years.

My knee barely touching my son who had returned

after three missed Chrismass.

But he was there in that moment

like he had always been before.

My heart quietly overflowed

with gratitude for answered prayers

and 

for the quiet joy of   that life moment.

When an estrangement ends

after the initial ecstatic embraces

there is much uncharted waters still to navigate.

I don't know what the future will bring.

But I will always have that quiet moment

when he was There

in the flesh and in the heart.

He didn't quickly move away.

We were physically connected.

After such heartache over the situation of his chosen estrangement

I committed that moment into my heart

and 

can pull up 

at a moments notice.

To remember hope is real.

An unconditional love can happen.

I could  do this because 

I realized 

the need for

 Self Care During the Holidays.

And I'm old enough now 

to know sometimes

life is savored in the quiet moments 

when you least expect it.

Taking good care of ourselves

means

we can love on others so much better

and 

be present when sacred heart moments do occur.

My wish for you this holiday season

is self care

so you can show up with grace in your heart

and 

an ability to

 cherish the sacred moments

that can be mixed in all of the hustle and bustle of the season.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life