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Getting Dressed…When You Really Don't Feel Like It

There are still some weeks blogging
that I question my outfit posts 
if so much effort to do them 
even has any relevance
to myself or others.

Especially on a day
when even just  getting dressed  seems like 
too much of an effort.

Face it
we've all had those days!
When for any number of reasons
even getting  dressed 
feels particularly challenging.

For me 
this last Friday was such a day.

It was the birthday of my sister
who left this earth 
so many years ago
but this year
it hit me  hard.
I missed her so.

it was because 
of this time in my life
with my youngest
preparing to fly the nest
that some days just feel like so much letting go
so reminiscent of such a heartbreaking time 
with my sister's death.

it was that she died 
when she was the same age as my daughter now.

it's just after so amy years parenting
 having such a children focused life
that  now I have time 
to feel my  own past.

What ever the reason
this year my heart broke
missing my sister so.

But after giving into the remembered pain for the day
I realized 
dwelling in the darkness
any longer
would serve no purpose
nor honor her memory

I realized the importance
just getting dressed 
getting out.

 Vest-Stella Carakasi, tunic-Free People,  pants-Stella Carakasi, hat-Lack of Color, earrings-vintage

Dressed in an outfit 
that felt good
easy to wear.

Happy pieces
that spoke not only to the temperature
felt like a cozy embrace.
Pieces that have the comfort
of a dear friend who knows your heart.

that were forgiving to an aging body
a joy to wear
with just enough
accessories to say

I am here.

I can pull myself together
both figuratively and literally.

 Even with reoccurring 
holes in my heart
I am here.

I can go forth in search of
life's beauty and love.

Sometimes just forcing ourselves
to get dressed
really can make a difference 
in how we see our world.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life


  1. Balancing in place is a great visual metaphor for your post. Love the chandelier sparkles on your cheek and the backlit white!
    Wishing you a calmer day today. Jazzy Jack

  2. White is the color of mourning in some cultures and hope in others. Your outfit feels appropriate for exploring and expressing all of these contradictory feelings. You look beautiful, and fabulously dressed for our early fall heat.

  3. this is just so true. In the last 7 weeks I have lost 2 family members and have been seen in public with unwashed hair and no makeup because even the effort of getting up and getting going was huge. xxx

  4. Always important to release the grief we lock away , embrace it , acknowledge it and then when we are ready move to another place.
    Making an effort to dress up at these times always is a challenge but in itself is cathartic. Take care, my dear and be kind to yourself. xx

  5. Tamera, I love this breezy look! I am popping over from Visible Monday. I hope you will come join Patti and I for a monthly fashion over 40 linkup, My Refined Style. The inaugural linkup will start next Thursday, Oct. 1.


  6. I am a 55 year old, former homeschool mom of three living in Texas. I enjoy your posts so much. Your words speak what my heart often feels. I am inspired in so many ways. Thank you for your openness and willing to inspire others.

  7. What a wonderful tribute to your dear sister. Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the effort you put into your creative, detailed posts. Even when those cloudy days hit, you look put together and beautiful.

  8. Sorry for your loss Tamera, your sister is with you in spirit and must be very proud of you. I've said it before, but your posts inspire and touch the heart. You also look stunning in white.

  9. I have been looking at your blog for about three years now and you always inspire me. I love all of your fashion and home pictures. I look at them when I need help picking an outfit for work (fashion retail). I found your blog when my life partner was sick. He passed two years ago. It helped to have your beautiful pictures to at look and take my mind off thing for a while. Thank you and I hope everything becomes easier as time goes on.

  10. A beautiful, thoughtful post, Tamera. Your white outfit is perfect for the heat, and soothing and restful to honour your much-loved sister. You do look perfectly styled, and the vintage earrings are gorgeous. x

  11. This is such an insightfull and honest addmission Tamera!
    Goodness, we all have days that feel like our 'fabulous factor' has plummeted....And it can be caused by as much as a fundamental shift in our circumstances, or as little as a headache.
    Chosing clothes that are comfortable, jewellery that doesn't 'jangle' and shoes that you can walk in easily will allieviate avoidable stress. Hats and sunglasses can also provide emotional protection if required....
    But getting up and out in the world, mixing with friends and feeling you have a 'role' in society is the best medicine if introspection and self analysis are weighing you down.
    Tamara, white is a great choice for these kind of days. You've accessorised wonderfully and demonstrated that dressing fabulously, doesn't need to be making a statement about our 'attitude'....dressing fabulously can also be a more gentle representation of ourselves, nuanced by whatever our current emotional climate happens to be.

  12. Tamera, you look like an angel in this all white outfit- a fitting tribute to your sister.

  13. Hugs to you my beautiful friend. Grief is always a surprising journey. You honor you sister so beautifully today.

  14. Hi Tamera
    I am so sorry about your sister and how you are feeling. Beautiful words and thoughts are what involved me in your post, before your outfit. I have days where I don't feel like dressing, but like you do it. You look very elegant and reflective.
    Thank you for linking up with THT
    Jess xx

  15. Such beautiful words, thoughts and puctures. Thanks to show us that you feel as we are so often.... You are a beautiful woman and full of talents. And it helps me when I feel depressed as I am now.....

  16. Such a beautiful post, I have tears in my eyes, I'm sorry to read that you lost your sister all those years ago. You look gorgeous though and I think it's a wonderful tribute to your sister to have dressed up on this day - and your outfits, photographs and words are always touching and inspirational. Esther xx

  17. Your heartfelt post touched me deeply. It resonates with how I feel at times, especially on anniversary dates or special occasions. Honoring your sister's loss by writing and creating a gorgeous ensemble helps not only you, but your readers as well. Thank you Tamera, for your post and for sharing your hat and your beauty with Hat Attack.

  18. Your writing (and photos as well) really touches my heart...and I am so grateful for it. They are the kind words that I needed to hear today! Thank you for the inspiration.