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Mental Health Tips to Thrive During The Holidays

~~~~~  I have been writing about mental health during the holidays for years now.
Remembering these tips
has gotten me through challenging years
helped me stay focused and present 
during the good years
so that I don't miss any of the small magical moments
the holidays can bring!

I decided to share my tips again
in case they can help anyone else
to savor and enjoy their own magical moments! ~~~~~


As someone who has spent so much time
struggling with anxiety and depression
I have learned some tips
over the years
to not only cope  during the holidays
but to actually 
Thrive During the Holidays.

I am back once again this year with my
Tips for Self Care During the Holidays  
I have been doing various versions of these
for several years now
Starting off the holidays with
parameters and intentions 
have been so very beneficial to me.
I thought I'd share my favorite here
in case anybody else can use a bit of encouragement
at this time of year.

So many years as an adult
I have been navigating
 the search for 
the joys of Christmas
 amidst loss
since my sister died December 12th 36 years ago.
That year I don't think we even had Christmas
but I remember thinking that I would never 
miss the joy of Christmas again
as long as I was able.
I haven't.

So I know all too well how many times
the holidays can  shine such a light 
on just where we are at the time.

What losses we've had
changes that are in process.
In the ten years I've been doing this blog
I have endured many.

But I have learned to acknowledge them
while still making room for the joys 
that have always still come with the season.

I have made peace with giving room
to both joy and grief
the more I do
the joy seems to be able to grow.
Maybe it is with a heart honed by grief and loss
that we are more able to 
see and experience 
the moments of true joy and bliss during the holidays!

So here are my top 
Holiday Heart Tips
Thrive During the Holidays

Don't Compare

Let Go Of Comparison
it is always the thief of joy

Right off you might think I mean 
comparing your holidays to other peoples
which is destructive enough for obvious reasons.

But there is another Holiday comparison
that can be equally joy stealing.
Comparing this holiday right now
to ones gone by in the past.

I have found as hard as it is sometimes
in life 
especially during the holidays
it is so important  to focus on
 the good that is here right now.
My practice of 
Daily Gratitude
has made this so much easier. 
Not to hold  this year up for comparison and judgements
of years gone by
but instead 
to focus on all 
the Joy and Beauty to be found today.

We only truly have today
right now
this year.
I can hold a place in my heart
for those I've lost
while keeping it wide open
to absorb 
this years wonder.
I have grown a 
Flexible Heart
And for that 
I Am Grateful.

Let Go Of Expectations Of Perfection

This one I have definitely been working on for years
I can say I have gotten pretty good at letting go.

Keeping expectations in check
is probably one of the most important 
tips for
Thriving During the Holidays!

Now I know to do my best
then let it go.

As much as I like things to look good
I now know to focus on the moments.

For me these days
it is also important to let go of expectations of others.

We all come to the holidays
stepping into them
where we are in our souls this year.

None of us are perfect.
 all of us are doing the best we can 
with what we have  and know
at this time.

Bringing Grace to the holidays
 goes far for everyone
ourselves included.

Make A List Of Holiday Objectives

For me
I show love by beautifying spaces.
Whether it be a beautiful room, space, table or beautifully wrapped present.

These objectives
might seem obvious enough
but for me to have the conversation with myself
meant I could keep my focus on what is important
not to go off the rails getting annoyed with the less important aspects.

I always ask myself
'What is my objective'
I want to achieve.
Sometimes it connections with others on a soulful level.
Sometimes it's to have an opportunity
to sit quietly alone
reflect on the beauty and magic of the season.

These days it's usually to have 
beautiful, loving moments
that I can treasure.
And it's usually  collecting tiny unexpected moments
that I can tuck in my heart forever.

I also don't try to do too many events during the holidays.
For me fewer is better.
I don't like to feel I'm worn out and done.
It's always a joy killer for me.

I also keep tight present buying lists.
It's all too easy to be out shopping
be swept away in the moment
thinking that perfect gift can buy someone happiness.
It doesn't.

Remember self respect of time and money.

Respect Yourself

Speaking of Respecting Yourself
I think self respect is always important
but like many of these ideas
even more so during the holidays.

We need to respect how much we can give.
Whether it be time, money or heart.

Over giving leads to resentment.
Know your boundaries.

Trying to do too much
for too many
is an easy way to loose
 Holiday Joy

Take Care Of Yourself Inside and Out

I know it's a busy time of year
but taking the time to make good nutrition
a priority
means you will have more energy for the holidays.

I'm not saying to get crazy about what you eat
just remember to get some good stuff in!

I also make sure to keep my work outs on track.
I keep my own health and fitness on my daily lists
but I also give myself grace
if I choose to miss one.
For me it's all about balance
especially during the holidays.

Holiday Wardrobe

I'm not talking about  just fancy fashion here.
I'm talking about taking the time before the festivities begin
to line up outfits
that you will feel your best in.
Outfits that make your heart happy to wear.
A great holiday outfit can make even doing errands more joyful!
I am still enjoying my red J Crew suit
I invested in last year
I know I will  love this classic suit for years to come!

Being with family and friends
during the holidays 
means you want to feel your best
in order to bring your best.
For me clothes help.

Just like packing for a trip
I like to think through the events of the season
plan outfits that I know I feel comfortable in
joyful wearing!

In my younger years
I missed this simple concept
only to find self scrambling before
every event 
to pull something together to wear.
Trust me
this was not emotionally pretty
for me
 the ripple effect that ensued.

My wardrobe advice is always to
Plan what you want to wear
ahead of the need.

Cherish The Small Moments

For me
to be able to fully do this
  is what 
Self Care During The Holidays
is all about.

Self Care which leaves you whole and grounded
so you can 
be truly present
 in the small moments 
that are really can be the big spectacular
joyful moments
we really are searching for during the holidays.

And I'm old enough now 
to know sometimes
life is savored in the quiet moments 
when you least expect it.

Taking good care of ourselves
we can love on others so much better
be present when sacred heart moments do occur.

My wish for you this holiday season
is good self care
so you can show up with 
grace in your heart
an ability to
cherish the sacred moments
that can be mixed in all of the hustle and bustle of the season.

Those are my suggestions for 
Thriving During the Holidays
Thank you so much for stopping by.
I'd love to hear any 
Mental Health Tips for the Holidays
you'd like to share!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy
as you style your life


  1. Great reminders to intentionally enjoy the beauty and peace of the season.

    1. Why thank you so much for your lovely gift of words!

  2. Wonderful perspectives to create joy and balance during the holidays and everyday really! I have struggled over the years to be happy through the holidays and I needed to be reminded not to compare this Christmas with Christmas’s past - to cultivate gratitude and enjoy what is right now. So thank you for that. I do try to cultivate gratitude and have fun decorating and gift giving. I love creating outfit ideas in anticipation of the season too. I shop my closet and then keep my eye out for a new piece or accessory to compliment my ideas. Having outfits I feel great in definitely helps me feel my best and lifts me up! Thank you for your love and light!

    1. Ginger thank you ever so much for your thoughtful and beautifully articulated comment my dear! I can definitely understand the struggle to be happy through the holidays. I think there is so much freeing power in just the realization that happy holidays aren't always just a given. It sure sounds like you have such a healthy plan in place it Gratitude for what is today ... goes ever so far in the happiness journey! So does your gift giving, decorating and outfit creation! So well done my dear!

      Ginger thank you so much for your continued support here and on Instagram! I so appreciate you my dear! Sending you love and big wishes for the happiest of holidays for you and yours! xox

  3. Hello girlfriend DIVINE!!
    I’m not getting the email notifications that you have posted a NEW BLOG POST!Please look into that Pronto.
    This year I’m ready in advance for the first time ever!The week is low key snd cooking!One little SNAFU is that Italian came home with Covid!So shall we take bets I will have by Christmas?I have my Outfit came yesterday in the mail so set there!
    I wish you all the BEST and hope to get South next Year for some chatting and visiting time!
    Make your Own Joy is my offering and I think You and I do that Already and have for years!
    La Contessa

    1. Hello my dearest Contessa! Boy I really do need to check into email notifications for the blog!! I just went and added it to my list!

      i see you are taking a bit of Insta Gram break! Completely understandable this time of year! I had noticed your absence and so glad hear it was by choice. Sending you the biggest wishes of holiday happiness to you and yours! And here's to making our own joy! XOX


  4. Ah, Tamera, I rely on your wonderful honest reminders this time of year.You and I have been down the same road
    for many years.You’ve done better than I , but I haven’t given up yet! I will take your pieces of wisdom to heart as I know they’re hard -won๐Ÿ’” Thank you and I send you wishes for a wonderful holiday season.
    Margy(A FOOL 4 FABRIC)

    1. Margy it is always so wonderful to hear from you my dear! I so miss your posts from beautiful Los Olivos and your wonderful creations in your dreamy sewing studio! You are such a wonderful talent!

      I am sorry to hear you and I have been down the same road for many years ... because I know it can be a very hard road indeed. I am glad to hear you haven't given up. Sometimes life seems to be able to turn to good as quickly as the other way. My grandchildren have moved back locally and I couldn't be more grateful this year. One thing for sure about hard times ... I am so much more focused and present when things are good.

      Thank you again for stopping by here and commenting my dear! Sending you much love and the biggest of holiday to wishes to you and yours! XOX

  5. Beautiful words, as always ❤️! I remember Tracy so well.. she and your parents are missed and never forgotten. Love you Tamera.❤️๐Ÿ™

    1. Awww thank you so much for stopping by my dear and for your kind and loving words! They've touched my heart! XOX