tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post8076952602318261102..comments2024-03-22T10:44:19.390-07:00Comments on Tamera Beardsley: Sharing Life Stories and Life Lessons … part 6 in Write the Blog You Want To ReadTamera Beardsleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00855427513744644731noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-46256133444579317892022-06-06T16:11:11.022-07:002022-06-06T16:11:11.022-07:00Thank you for your encouraging words my dear. Yes...Thank you for your encouraging words my dear. Yes, I do think we are all doing the very best we can. I continue to say blessing for my son and send him much love.Tamera Beardsleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00855427513744644731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-72460003175972834702022-05-16T10:44:18.696-07:002022-05-16T10:44:18.696-07:00We all share the pain . Of an child who makes a d...We all share the pain . Of an child who makes a decision to distance their self from. Family at times. It feels so personal but I believe it what they have to do to survive. It’s their journey. It hurts so much. Believe me it will get better in time. Yes unconditional love. We’ve all been there Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-59726262539411331412016-06-04T19:58:16.302-07:002016-06-04T19:58:16.302-07:00Beautifully written. Beautifully written. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-52469273993166599872014-06-07T12:20:04.901-07:002014-06-07T12:20:04.901-07:00Thank you for being transparent Tamera. Your story...Thank you for being transparent Tamera. Your story has tugged at my heart. I'll be praying for your son as he searches for the truth. Love will prevail. ~Ann<br /><a href="http://www.tarnishedroyalty.com/" rel="nofollow">Tarnished Royalty</a>Tarnished Royaltyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05997517495097208416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-74413151153486291832014-05-16T02:54:13.415-07:002014-05-16T02:54:13.415-07:00My son left home for 5 years from the age of 17 ye...My son left home for 5 years from the age of 17 years. He refused to have contact but I made sure that he always knew where I was in case he needed me. He arrived one day unexpectedly and we have been wonderfully close ever since. I just accepted him back without question. He has turned into a wonderful husband and father well respected in his community. <br />Your Son will wake up one day and realise that he is loved, and he will return.My Inspiration Carramarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10146467371930151735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-38788846534859033882014-05-13T07:33:21.409-07:002014-05-13T07:33:21.409-07:00 You are brave and a wonderful example. Your word... You are brave and a wonderful example. Your words have touched me, I also have an estranged son and Mothers Day is not the same. I try to remember how blessed I am with the connection to my other son, but a piece of my heart is missing. I have seen restoration begin this past year, so I know through God there is hope and I believe your prodigal will return because of your love and faith. God Bless You and your eloquent words, I needed to hear them! ChristyChristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08911174495345154549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-25265215610575336072014-05-11T17:17:36.683-07:002014-05-11T17:17:36.683-07:00I am sure he will find his way home...I am sure he will find his way home...Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11879047507861682885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-81865247679615792952014-05-10T09:02:52.268-07:002014-05-10T09:02:52.268-07:00He touched your kiss on his cheek to "push in...He touched your kiss on his cheek to "push into his heart".Your LOVE is there.Let him do what he needs to do................as you are doing.<br />XOXOLa Contessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01682902106545680159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-46305866092242452122014-05-10T03:12:03.973-07:002014-05-10T03:12:03.973-07:00Tamera, my heart goes out to you! I have to tell m...Tamera, my heart goes out to you! I have to tell myself constantly, "This too shall pass" and quite literally give my children to God because there is so much I can't control. I had very similar struggles with my oldest daughter a couple of years ago which brought me to my knees. When I finally accepted that she was on her own journey and my role in her life was to model healthy behavior I began to breathe again. Having kids is truly like having your heart walk around outside your body!!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11517030275482094998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-16140013774112693232014-05-09T20:08:57.729-07:002014-05-09T20:08:57.729-07:00Holding you in my heart. xoHolding you in my heart. xoMonica M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03326439374534379632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-40324014328952290392014-05-09T19:19:34.729-07:002014-05-09T19:19:34.729-07:00this is a powerful post. I admire your strength. W...this is a powerful post. I admire your strength. We all feel humiliated and embarrassed attires and I admire your strength in moving through this to acceptance. How did you do it? xFaux Fuchsiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17317677066408030053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-48183002556664822972014-05-09T17:23:42.764-07:002014-05-09T17:23:42.764-07:00Tamera dear-Your story is beautiful, poignant and ...Tamera dear-Your story is beautiful, poignant and bittersweet. You share the wisdom and the pain in such an honest way. Your journey into complete, unconditional love is truly inspiring. It's often in the deepest, darkest of times that we grow the most and see the light. We've talked personally and you know my strong belief, fueled by my experiences in my profession, is that your son will return in time. I see the metamorphosis and the realization in families on a daily basis. I sensed you were feeling this way approaching mother's day and I wanted to reach out and let you know "you are loved". I'm pleased you like the bracelet. I had you in mind when I bought it. ;) <br />Wishing you a beautiful day on Mother's Day,<br />xx, HeathAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17032908426814046368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-71754990996900979792014-05-09T16:42:12.118-07:002014-05-09T16:42:12.118-07:00Tamera, are you familiar with the book Moving to...Tamera, are you familiar with the book Moving to the Center of the Bed by Sheila Weinstein? I have thought of you for several days while I am finishing this book. While it is not about the same situation as you are going through with your son, the meaning is still there. The author lost her husband to a rare form of dementia and the book tells of her journey of moving to the center of the bed - which is symbolic of finding her center in life. The book clearly describes her feelings of having lost her soul and trying to find meaning in her life again. Is such a powerful read, even if the circumstances of her life don't match ours. The meaning is there. If you have time you might want to check it out on Amazon. Came recommended to me and so glad I ordered it. Thank you for sharing your story. Being so honest, open and raw is not easy. But so much comfort when we allow ourselves to speak what is on our hearts and to find out one is never alone on the journey. You are not alone.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09191256560294576954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-69336587168968964122014-05-09T15:59:51.398-07:002014-05-09T15:59:51.398-07:00Tamera, my dear, with Mothers Day approaching our ...Tamera, my dear, with Mothers Day approaching our hearts always break once again, over time I have come to accept this and simply let the day unfold and follow along.I feel sure your son knows of your deep love and one day in his own time will reconnect.I admire your ability to be so honest and open about your feelings . I am not there in terms of my blog but feel I do have a story that like you could be of some comfort to others. Take care. XJill Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12393826705818799236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-67099167972265050862014-05-09T14:14:30.565-07:002014-05-09T14:14:30.565-07:00Dear Tamara, your thoughts and words truly reached...Dear Tamara, your thoughts and words truly reached my heart in more ways than you can imagine. I hope and pray that one day you will be reunited. You are a special woman and it is indeed hard to look at our lives and examine them so microscopically and not necessarily find an answer. Love and acceptance, kindness and consideration, there is always room in the world for more.....<br /><br />xoxo<br />Karena<br />Soiree by Danielle Rollins Giveaway!<br />Karenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05206642885608991170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-73432968568338376442014-05-09T14:13:20.328-07:002014-05-09T14:13:20.328-07:00Tamera, you write with such emotional honesty and ...Tamera, you write with such emotional honesty and depth about this most painful issue, and I commend you for it. I can't agree with the first comment that such openness and clarity are alien to us Brits, I think it is about personality, a willingness to share, to be vulnerable, to reveal hard truths about one's life. Some people are brave enough to do that, some are not, but I am not sure nationality has much to do with it. <br />I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for the ongoing pain of this estrangement, and I hope very much it is resolved at some point in the future. I don't think I am very good at unconditional love, and you have reminded me to try harder. Well, I think the love is unconditional, but my approval is not. I can imagine reacting very angrily in similar circumstances. But you are doing the only thing you can do now; leave the door open, let your son know he is loved, and wait until he is ready to find his way back to you. xxxxCurtisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10362184504889147455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-36455946165174986312014-05-09T13:19:32.059-07:002014-05-09T13:19:32.059-07:00this touched me so deeply. Such personal writing -...this touched me so deeply. Such personal writing - thank you for sharing. It truly made me pause and reflect today . I clash with my son so often, as we just have the same personalities. Yet I love him so much . I can't imagine how it would feel if I was in your place, but I take note of what you say about ensuring that it is clear that they have the message that my love is unconditional . Thinking of you this weekend and praying that in due course you all will be reunited and reconciled. juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16122661299040340465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-74362441113037318992014-05-09T12:13:21.344-07:002014-05-09T12:13:21.344-07:00Tamera, I'm so glad I stopped by today. I was ...Tamera, I'm so glad I stopped by today. I was actually thinking of you and remembering the dynamics with your son. And I know it's soooo hard on days like Mother's Day. It looks like you've gotten so much wisdom in these comments, I couldn't possibly offer you more. Although I do want you to know that we share similar beliefs. You are so right. We all do the best we can with the emotional tools we've got at the moment. And I think that realization has to be your comfort when it comes alongside the unconditional love and the proverbial olive branch that you offer. Anger is such a "stuck" emotion, and I hope your son is able to move beyond it sooner than later. In the meantime, I admire the humble honesty and wisdom you share here and I offer you my support and friendship... I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day with your other kids, and congrats to your daughter. What a glorious bit of news about grad school. <br />xo<br />LeslieLeslie Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06367872267145012395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-47820797592612688082014-05-09T09:32:11.779-07:002014-05-09T09:32:11.779-07:00Judy, well said.
Dearest Tamera,
I know this is ...Judy, well said.<br /><br />Dearest Tamera, <br />I know this is painful. Too deep. He is not a prodigal. He has the personal respect for himself, to wal his own path. His strength is so much like both of his parents.<br />A shift in how things are viewed, is often helpful toward healing wounds.<br />I don't agree with the delivery, but I understand what often leads to this choice.<br />Please remember at two when he couldn't find his words, he would get frustrated and even act out at times. Progressive development stages needed new words, and the same.<br />Boys don't have all the words they need. Sometimes they simply need space, and the assurance their words will be heard - and respected.<br />Until then, he loves you and the rest of his family. Your imprint is un-eraseable. He has always been a boy similar with so many amazing gifts as you are also endowed.<br />He is not a prodigal. He is following his own, as you also.<br /><br />May you rejoice in Mother's Day with the knowledge you've created a man so willing to stand on his own, he does.<br /><br />I miss him in the zoom-zoom stroller!Denise Pagettnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-6497470086705596542014-05-09T09:12:03.033-07:002014-05-09T09:12:03.033-07:00Pam thank you so much for this gift of encouraging...Pam thank you so much for this gift of encouraging word … they are a gift to my soul.<br /><br />xoxo<br />TameraTamera Beardsleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00855427513744644731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-38582448148466643662014-05-09T09:10:51.949-07:002014-05-09T09:10:51.949-07:00Thanks Tabitha my dear! I do love all things Brit...Thanks Tabitha my dear! I do love all things British … but that part … I just couldn't do :))<br /><br />xoxo<br />TameraTamera Beardsleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00855427513744644731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-31359367810787925042014-05-09T08:33:08.856-07:002014-05-09T08:33:08.856-07:00It must be extremely difficult for you to write th...It must be extremely difficult for you to write this post but one that must give you a sense of peace just by saying it. <br />We bear these babies and raise and nurture them never knowing how things will turn out in the end....you are a very brave woman and I admire your strength. Take care.hostess of the humble bungalowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06453827257671312902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-69844920075514603782014-05-09T08:28:57.530-07:002014-05-09T08:28:57.530-07:00What a beautifully written and deeply loving piece...What a beautifully written and deeply loving piece. Your honesty and humility shines through as gloriously as your style and beauty. It's hard to imagine that as mothers we can't see what lies within our own children. We should be able to see it all and fix it all! Therein lies the hardest part. Yet, I believe that it's our humanity and the acceptance of our own imperfectness that makes us kinder and more loving people. And, in turn, allows our children to not expect perfection in themselves or in anyone else. As we raise our children, we loose sight of that because we are blinded by the romantic notion of what a good mother is (or should be). We set the bar so high for ourselves in every part of life that even a super human can't reach it! Yet, we allow ourselves to be tormented by not being able to reach it! Silly girls!!! In turn, we grieve and torture ourselves to the point of intense disappointment. All of a sudden, we are a spectacle in our children's lives--one that we don't want to be! I had to learn the hard way that I will disappoint my children with who I am, I will sometimes make errors in judgement and do many things that I am not proud of and I will not be able to fix all of their woes in life and I will not know always know how to be the best mother. And, I will allow them the same. In the end, I will teach them that even mothers are human (I'm pretty sure they got that message...although they do forget sometimes....). But, most importantly, I shall love them madly and with all of my madness....no matter what. Hugging someone during the great times is the easy part--holding them during the hard times is what makes us who we are. You are holding your son....always. <br />Happy Mother's Day to you. And, many blessings to your son and all of your family as you navigate these days.<br />Onward!<br />JudiJudihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08014735777454955352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-12176808160128729962014-05-09T08:20:04.516-07:002014-05-09T08:20:04.516-07:00Tamera, what you've said about unconditional l...Tamera, what you've said about unconditional love makes you truly a wonderful mother. Relationships with our children can be complicated. Personally, I am going through a transitional period with my own son who is growing into a young man and also as a daughter to a mother to whom I am estranged. Your words are very meaningful to me. Your thankfulness shines through and is very infectious! Happy mothers day this weekend! I will raise a glass thinking of all us mothers and how hard we work-we are amazing individually and collectively. Hollihttp://thisbestlife.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7926693259891960139.post-63115287658455310062014-05-09T07:43:05.871-07:002014-05-09T07:43:05.871-07:00Oh...Tamera. I feel kindred today. My blog post ...Oh...Tamera. I feel kindred today. My blog post is "petite fête de lumière".<br />...a small feast or festival of light.<br />I have faith that your son will re-engage one day. <br />{ Fueled by faith and light on the road to peace of mind.}<br />Happy Mother's Day, Tamera!<br />withLove.<br />Lynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00990373651788404672noreply@blogger.com