Christmas complications....

 For at least a week now my Christmas season has been complicated by an under lying sadness, the kind you don't really recognize just where it comes from...but... the more you run from it, the stronger it becomes.  So I have decided today to address it...to ask myself why I do I feel this way....because I don't really know for certain.....

 I do know however... that the changing family roles within a family of three (albeit, wonderful) teenagers is challenging....especially when the stakes are so high and you love them so....to continually reach for the right decisions....and responses....even if you don't know for certain what exactly they should be....
I know these situations can weigh heavy on a marriage. That changing family roles is a challenge for all concerned.

 I know yesterday, being the anniversary of my sister's passing, (albeit, it was years ago), makes me miss her so very and reminds me to make the most of every day and to appreciate all those in my life...to think about what I want to leave behind...

I know sometimes my Christmas expectations are too high...that I need to back off...and let go and just enjoy the small moments...

or

maybe my melancholy is merely a hormonal manifestation of my chronological age...

I do know sometimes...just acknowledging things...holidays....people....ourselves.... aren't perfect...frees us to really see the true magic that lies within everything... once we strip off the expectations.... of how we think things should be...and see the quiet beauty in things as they truly are...letting go of the complications....



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2 comments:

  1. So glad you are taking time to reflect and see what is going on in your heart. That is important. And transitions are hard. I pray that God helps you through. Hormone balancing has also been invaluable in my journey. We women have a lot of unique imbalances to deal with.

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  2. letting go of all complications, I LOVE THAT Tamera. Have you ever read the Shack, the book?
    He talks a lot about EXPECTANCY verses expectation. It's really good and so helpful, it has changed my life literally!

    I'm so sorry for your dark cloud of sorts, but I commend you for "writing it out" (I did a post on several weeks ago, b/c I was feeling down and couldn't pin point it)...I like that you are seeking deeper meaning and that is so so good...it's important to go through these feelings so we can come to a new place of renewal, and maybe new perspectives if we are lucky enough. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister too, how difficult holidays would be for you. My heart felt for you in this post, and I adore your vulnerability. Do you just have one son left at home then?

    Haha yep, stinky hormones!!!
    thanks for sharing your heart Tamera!!! Love you!

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