Finding a place......

 Why does organizing pieces for my collection

stir up so much emotion and anxiety for me?

 I am someone who thrives on organization...

I really have a place for everything ...and everything in it's place

usually.....

I thought....

but organizing these pieces of what can be...

has stirred deep.

 In it I see my

inability to organize

and put in order

all the pieces of my life.

 I used to pride myself 

in knowing where

everything went...

what was right..

Now as the parent of 

three teenagers

I'm not so sure.

I am the first to admit

I have been overly controlling.

I didn't mean to be....

I just thought what I was doing was the right way.

 Now life and my family

have taught me otherwise.

So... if my way isn't really the only way....

I must learn to

change and do things

differently.

Which means....

I just don't know where everything goes

or....

just the the 'right place'

for everything

right now...

 I can only give myself  permission

to try things differently

to be flexible

to learn to live outside my comfort zone.

for it to be ok. not to

see it all clearly

that I don't have to have all the answers

I can rearrange things

again....

I'll just keep trying

until things

fit

and 

work well together

again.